For any newlyweds, the first wedding night is something mysterious, fabulous, full of expectations and trepidation. Any religion has a special attitude towards this sacrament. How to prepare yourself for such a magical riddle? Let's look at how this is treated in Islam in more detail.
Great Sacrament
In Islam, the wedding night is considered a special period after the wedding. A girl who has just left her parents learns for the first time what a man is. By her upbringing, she is very modest and at the same time innocent. A man should be especially careful and careful with her.
The prophet himself said that women are like flowers, and their petals are fragile and tender. Therefore, on the first night, the husband must behave very carefully with his young wife, imagining a vulnerable flower in front of him.
The first wedding night of the newlyweds begins with prayer. Then the young people treat each other with various sweets and juice, after which they ask Allah in prayers to fill their lives with love, happiness and abundance.
Namaz itself has a strong psychological effect; it helps newly-made spouses to tune in to the right relationship. According to Islam, close contact is not required on the wedding night. Everything should happen in an atmosphere of love and tenderness, and if this time falls on physiologically unfavorable days for a woman, intimacy should be postponed to another time.
Delicacy and patience
A husband should not undress his young wife himself. An innocent girl might be scared by this. She herself will free herself from clothes behind the screen, and she will get rid of her underwear in bed under the covers.
In Islam, it is believed that the first wedding night should take place in complete darkness. This will make the bride feel more confident and less embarrassed. The spouse should not act rudely, because the girl has not yet seen a naked man in front of her. Tactlessness can ruin everything. A true Muslim always shows tenderness and tolerance towards his woman.
After the newlyweds are in bed, the husband puts his hand on his wife’s forehead and turns to Allah. He asks for a blessing for marriage, to send many children and mutual love.
Only after this is the young couple allowed to begin mutual love games and caresses. If a man is delicate and gentle enough, then the wife will eventually become skillful and affectionate and will give her husband moments of bliss in bed. Under no circumstances should you rush into defloration. A man should be trained in how to bring his beloved to this important moment and make sure that she does not experience strong painful sensations.
The sacrament must be preserved
Some peoples have a tradition of keeping watch at the newlyweds' door and, after the act is completed, displaying the result for everyone to see - a sheet with marks proving that the bride was a virgin.
There is no such custom in Islam. Such an attitude can cause negative emotions in young people, especially in a young wife. Islam prohibits spying on newlyweds. The wedding night is a mystery and a sacrament that concerns only the two of them. What happened at night is not discussed or put on public display.
In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful!
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, peace and blessings of Allah be upon our prophet Muhammad, members of his family and all his companions!
And then:
Praise be to Allah, who said in the clear verses of His Book: “Among His signs is that He created from among yourselves wives for you, so that you could find peace in them, and established love and mercy between you” (Surat ar-Rum) , 21).
Blessings and peace be upon His Prophet Muhammad, whose following words have come down to us in one of his authentic hadiths: “Marry women who love and give birth often, and I will be proud of your number before other prophets on the Day of Resurrection.” (This hadith was narrated by Ahmad and at-Tabarani with a good chain of narrators, and Ibn Hibban recognized this hadith, narrated from the words of Anas, as authentic).
For a person who has entered into marriage and wants to enter into an intimate relationship with his wife, Islam has established a number of rules of etiquette, which most people - even those who perform rites of worship - forget or do not have the slightest idea about.
1 – Treat your wife kindly on your wedding night.
Upon entering the wife, the husband should treat his wife courteously - for example, offer her to quench her thirst or show other signs of attention, in accordance with the hadith transmitted from the words of Asma bint Yazid ibn al-Sakan. She said: “I dressed Aisha for the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and then appeared to him and invited him to look at her dressed up and without a veil. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, entered and sat next to Aisha. They brought him a cup of milk. He took a sip and then handed the cup to Aisha. But she lowered her head and became embarrassed. I scolded her, saying: “Take the cup from the hands of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him!” Aisha took the cup and drank a little. Then the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, told her: “Give this cup to your friend!” Then I said: “O Messenger of Allah! First, take it and drink a little, and then hand it to me with your own hand!” The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, took the cup, drank from it and handed it to me. I sat down and placed the cup on my lap, then raised it to my lips and began to rotate it so that my lips touched the place from which the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, drank. Then the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to me, referring to the women who were next to me: “Give the cup to them!” But the women replied: “We don’t want to!” Then the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “Do not combine lying with hunger!” (1)
2 – Putting your hand on your wife’s head and praying for her.
On or before the wedding night, a man should put his hand to his wife’s forehead and say: “Bi-smi-l-Lyakh!” (“In the name of Allah!”), turn to Allah for blessing. In this case, it is advisable to repeat the words of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, spoken by him in the following hadith:
“If any of you has married or bought a slave, [let him take her (or him) by the bangs], [say the name of Allah, great and glorious is He], [ask for His blessing] and say:
أَللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِهَا وَخَيْرِ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ، وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَشَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ .
“Allahumma inni as’aluka min heyriha wa heyri ma jabaltaha ‘alaih, wa-a’uzu bika min sharriha wa-sharri ma jabaltaha ‘aleih!” (“O Allah! Verily, I ask You for good from her and all the good things that You have given her! And I resort to You from her evil and from all the evil things that You have given her.”)
[If someone bought a camel, let him grab the top of its hump and say the same].”
3 – Joint prayer of spouses.
First legend:
Abu Said, a freedman of Abu Useid, said:
“I got married as a forced person. I invited several companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, among whom were Ibn Mas'ud, Abu Dharr and Huzaifa. The beginning of the prayer was announced, and Abu Dharr came forward to lead it. Then those present said: “Don’t do this!” Abu Dharr asked: “Really?” They answered: “Yes.” Then I stood in front of them, being a forced man, and they taught me the following, saying:
“When your wife comes to you, perform a prayer of two rak'ahs, then ask Allah for the good of what has come to you, and ask Him for refuge from the evil of what has come to you. Then you can get on with your business with your wife.”
Second legend:
Shakik said:
“One day a man named Abu Hariz appeared and said: “I married a young girl [a virgin] and I am afraid that she will not love me.” To this Abdullah (that is, Ibn Mas'ud) answered him: “Love is from Allah, and hostility is from Satan. Satan wants to make hateful for you what is permitted to you by Allah. When your wife comes to you, order her to stand behind you and perform two rak’ahs of prayer with you.” In another version of this message from the words of ibn Mas’ud there is a continuation: “And say:
أَللّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِي أَهْلِي، وَبَارِكْ لَهُمْ فِيَّ، أَللَّهُمَّ ٱجْمَعْ بَيْنَنَا مَا جَمَعْتَ بِخَيْرٍ، وَفَرِّقْ بَيْنَنَا إِذَا فَرَّقْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍ .
“Allahumma barik li fi ahli, wa barik lyahum fiy. Allahumma-jma' beinana ma jama'ta bi-kheir, wa-farrik beinana iza farrakta ila kheir” (“O Lord! Bless me with my family and bless them with me. O Lord! Unite us for our good while You unite us. And divide us for our good when You divide us."
4 – What should be said to the spouse before intercourse with his wife.
Before a man has intercourse with his wife, he must say the following:
بِسْمِ ٱللهِ، أَللّٰهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا ٱلشَّيْطَانَ، وَجَنِّبِ ٱلشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا .
“Bi-smi-l-Lyakh! Allahumma jannibna-sh-sheitan, wa jannibi-sh-shaitana ma razaktana! (“In the name of Allah! O Allah! Remove Satan from us and from what you have given us!”).
“If Allah has predestined for them to have a child, then Satan will not be able to harm him in any way.”
5 – How to copulate with your spouse.
The husband is allowed to have intercourse with his wife from any side - both from behind and from the front, but only in the vagina. Blessed and Almighty Allah said: “Your wives are arable land for you. Come to your arable land whenever and however you wish.” That is, as you wish: in front or behind. There are a number of hadiths on this subject, but I will limit myself to only two of them:
First Hadith:
Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Jews said that if a man copulated in the vagina from behind, the child would be born oblique, and then the verse was revealed: “Your wives are arable land for you.” Come to your arable land whenever and however you wish.” [Then the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “In front or behind, but only in the vagina.”].”
Ibn Abbas said: “The Ansars of one of the quarters, when they were pagans, lived side by side with the Jews, and they are the people of the scripture. The Ansars believed that the Jews were superior to them in knowledge and followed them in many ways. And among the people of Scripture it was customary to have intercourse with women in no other way than lying on their sides: it was believed that a woman’s nakedness in this position was better covered. The Ansars of this quarter began to act in the same way as the Jews. The Quraysh, who settled in the same quarter, had intercourse with women in a manner unacceptable to the Ansars, enjoying their wives from the front and from behind, and throwing them on their backs. After the Muhajirs arrived in Medina, one of them took a woman from the Ansar as his wife and began to do the same to her. But she refused him, saying: “Before, my wives and I had sex lying on our sides, and you do the same, otherwise, stay away from me.” This continued until the woman’s problem got worse. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, became aware of what had happened, and the great and glorious Allah sent down a revelation: “Your wives are arable land for you. Come to your arable land whenever and however you wish.” That is, have intercourse with your wives both in front and behind, and throwing them back, but only through the genital organ.”
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This hadith was narrated by Ahmad (6/438, 452, 453, 458) in full and abbreviated versions with two mutually reinforcing chains of narrators, as pointed out by al-Munziri (4/29). The same hadith is cited by al-Humeidi in his work “al-Musnad” (61/2). This hadith is also supported by the hadith reported by at-Tabarani in his works “as-Saghir” and “al-Kabir”, by Abu ash-Sheikh in “Tarikh Asbahan” (282-283) and by Ibn Abi ad-Dunya in the book “ al-Samt" (26/2), according to Asma bint Umays.
This hadith clearly states that Allah is the creator of both good and evil. This thesis contradicts what the Mu'tazilites and others like them say, namely, that evil is allegedly not a creation of the Lord, Blessed is He and the Most High. However, the fact that Allah is the creator of evil does not contradict its perfection. On the contrary, it indicates His perfection, Blessed is He and the Most High. This is discussed in detail in essays specifically devoted to this topic. One of the best among them is Ibn al-Qayyim’s book “Shifa al-’Alil fi al-Qada wa-l-Qadar wa-t-Ta’lil” (“Cure of illness in matters of fate, predestination and causation”). Those interested can refer to this essay. Can the above prayer be used when buying, say, a car? I suppose so, since the person who bought it wants to benefit from it and fears its harm.
This hadith with a good chain of narrators was narrated by al-Bukhari in the book “Af'al al-Ibad” (p. 77), Abu Dawud (1/336), Ibn Majah (1/592), al-Hakim (2/185) , al-Beyhaqi (7/148) and Abu Ya'la in his work “al-Musnad” (sheet 308/2). Al-Hakim called this hadith authentic, with which al-Dhahabi agreed. The famous hadith expert al-Iraqi in the book “Tahrij al-Ihya” (1/298) said: “The chain of his narrators is good.” Abd al-Haqq al-Ishbili pointed out the authenticity of this hadith, without mentioning it, in the book “al-Ahkam al-Kubra” (42/2), since in its preface he stated that all the hadiths about which he omitted in this work are reliable. The authenticity of this hadith was also indicated by Ibn Daqiq al-Id in his work “al-Ilmam” (127/2).
Thus, the companions made it clear that a guest can lead prayer in the host’s house only if there is permission from the latter, since the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “No one has the right to lead prayer in the presence of the owner in his house or within the boundaries of his possessions." This hadith was reported by Muslim and Abu Awana in their works of the same name, al-Sahih. In the book “Sahih Sunan Abi Dawood” this hadith is given under number 594.
This tradition was conveyed by Abu Bakr ibn Abi Shayba in his work “al-Musannaf” (volume 7, sheet 50, side 1 and volume 12, sheet 43, side 2), as well as Abd ar-Razzaq (6/191-192). The chain of narrators of this account is reliable down to the name of Abu Said, whose identity is little known. I was able to find this name only from the famous hadith expert Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, who mentioned Abu Said in his work “al-Isaba” among those who transmitted hadiths from the words of Abu Said’s owner - Abu Useid Malik ibn Rabia al-Ansari. Later I came across the name Abu Said among the names of “reliable narrators” in Ibn Hibban. Ibn Hibban reports (5/588 - Indian edition) the following about Abu Said: “He conveyed messages from the words of a group of companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and Abu Nadra related these messages from his words.” Then, Ibn Hibban gives the same story, but without the words of Abu Said: “...they taught me, saying...”, until the end of the story. A similar shortened version was also transmitted by Ibn Abi Shayba (volume 2, sheet 23, side 1).
In the original the name goes as “Abu Hariz”. In his work “al-Mushtabah”, al-Dhahabi cites this name as “Abu Hariz” and reports the following about him: “He was a companion of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.” But in another of his works, al-Tajrid, al-Dhahabi contradicts himself and mentions the same name as “Abu Jariz”. Ibn Nasir ad-Din, in his work “at-Taudikh,” cited this option on behalf of al-Dhahabi and said that many early theologians adhered to both spellings of this name. And only Allah knows best about this!
Abu Bakr ibn Abi Shayba cites this story in al-Musannaf. In his work of the same name, Abd ar-Razzaq gives the same story (6/191/10460‑10461). The chain of narrators of this message is reliable. At-Tabarani gives this story, with two reliable chains of narrators (3/21/2). He also owns another version of the message with an addition. He also conveyed this story to al-Awsat, as written in the book “al-Mu'jam al-Awsat min al-Jam beynahu wa-bain as-Saghir” (166/2) according to al-Husayn ibn Waqid , who conveyed this story from the words of Ata ibn al-Sahib, who, in turn, conveyed it from the words of Abu Abd ar-Rahman al-Sulami, who conveyed it from the words of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, who said that the Prophet, peace be upon him and the blessings of Allah, said: “When a wife comes to her husband, he should stand and she should stand behind him. Then they should perform a prayer of two rak'ahs together, and the man should say: “O Lord! Bless me with my family and bless them with me. Oh my God! Grant them inheritance from me, and give me inheritance from them! Oh my God! Unite us for our good while You unite us. And divide us for our good when You divide us." At the same time, at-Tabarani notes: “This hadith from the words of Ata was conveyed by no one except al-Hussein.” Speaking about this, at-Tabarani meant that the version of this story, going back to the Prophet himself, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was conveyed from the words of Ata by no one except al-Hussein. It is known that Ata ibn al-Sahib lost his mind over the years, however, from his words, the same hadith, but only in the version dating back to Ibn Mas'ud, was told by Hammad ibn Zeid. This chain is correct, since Hammad ibn Zeid related stories from the words of Ata before he went crazy. That is why we have placed the words of Ibn Mas'ud, given in Hammad's version, in the main text of this book. Then I discovered another way of transmitting this tradition from the words of Ibn Mas'ud, who cited al-Thakafi. (See: “If any of you married...” in al-Mu'jam).
This tradition is supported by the hadith of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, conveyed from the words of Salman. It is cited by Ibn Adiyy (71/2), Abu Nuaym in Akhbar Asbahan (1/56) and al-Bazzar in his al-Musnad with a weak chain of narrators. I spoke about this in the book “Mu'jam al-Hadith” - there the hadith begins with the words: “If any of you got married...”. This hadith from the words of Salman and Ibn Abbas is also cited by Ibn Asakir (7/209/1‑2).
Abd ar-Razzaq (6/192) related the following from the words of Ibn Jurayj: “I was told that when Salman al-Farisi entered into marriage and entered his wife, he stopped at the door - everything was curtained. Then Salman said: “I don’t know what to think – is there a fever in your house or has the Kaaba been moved to Kinda?!” I swear by Allah, I will not enter there until the covers are torn off!” When the covers were torn off, ...Salman entered... and went to his wife. He laid his hand on her head... and said: “Are you submissive to me, may Allah have mercy on you?” The wife replied: “You have already taken the place of the one who should obey.” Salman continued: “Verily, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to me: “If you get married one day, then let the first thing you agree on be an agreement to obey Allah.” Therefore, get up and together we will perform a prayer of two rak'ahs. When you hear my prayer, say: “Amen!” So they performed a prayer of two rak'ahs, and the wife repeated: “Amen!” Salman spent the night with his wife. And the next morning his friends came to him. One of them took Salman aside and asked: “Well, how do you find a wife?” Salman left him without an answer. Then a second, a third came up. Seeing this, Salman turned to the people and said: “May Allah have mercy on you! Why ask about what is hidden behind the walls, bedspreads and curtains?! A person should only ask about what is not hidden, regardless of whether he is informed about it or not." But it is quite obvious that there is a missing link in the chain of narrators of this hadith.
This hadith, from the words of Ibn Abbas, is cited by al-Bukhari in his work “al-Sahih” (9/187), all the authors of the collections of the same name “al-Sunan”, with the exception of an-Nasa’i, who cited it in the book “Ishrat an -Nisa" (79/1), Abd ar-Razzaq (6/193-194) and at-Tabarani (3/151/2). This hadith is given in its most complete version in the book “al-Irwa” (2012).
Surah al-Baqarah, 223.
This hadith is cited by al-Bukhari (8/154), Muslim (4/156), an-Nasai in the book “Ishrat an-Nisa” (76/1‑2), Ibn Abi Hatim (l. 39/1 - manuscript “ Mahmudiyyah") – he owns the addition in square brackets, al-Baghawi in “Hadith Ali ibn al-Ja'd” (8/79/1), al-Jurjani (293/440), al-Beyhaqi (7/195) , Ibn Asakir (8/93/2) and al-Wahidi (p. 53), who said: “Sheikh Abu Hamid ibn al-Sharqi once said: “This is a great hadith, which is equal to a hundred hadiths.”
This hadith is reported by Abu Dawud (1/377), al-Hakim (2/195, 279), al-Bayhaqi (7/195), al-Wahidi in al-Asbab (p. 52) and al-Khattabi in "Gharib al-Hadith" (73/2). The chain of narrators of this hadith is good. Al-Hakim considered the chain of his narrators reliable in accordance with the requirements of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him.
This hadith has another, shorter transmission path, which is given by at-Tabarani (3/185/1).
This hadith is also supported by a hadith of similar content, transmitted from the words of Ibn Umar. An-Nasai brings it to al-Ishra (76/2) with a reliable chain of narrators. The same an-Nasai, as well as al-Qasim al-Saraqousti in al-Gharib (2/93/2) and other authors quote from the words of Said ibn Yasar the following: “I said to Ibn Umar: “We buy slaves and have intercourse with with them through the anus!” Ibn Umar said: “Ugh! Is this what a Muslim does?!”” The chain of narrators of this legend is reliable. It contains a strong objection from Ibn Umar to intercourse with a woman through the anus. Therefore, the traditions that contradict this message, which are cited by al-Suyuti in Asbab al-Nuzul, as well as other authors in their works from Ibn Umar, are definitely erroneous and should not be paid attention to.
A man is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman through the anus, in accordance with the meaning of the verse: “Your wives are arable land for you. Come to your arable land whenever and however you wish.”
also in accordance with the above hadiths. There are also other hadiths on this matter:
First Hadith:
Second Hadith:
Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “Once, Umar ibn al-Khattab came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said: “O Messenger of Allah! I'm lost! The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, asked: “What destroyed you?” Umar replied: “That night I sat in the saddle on the other side.” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, did not answer him. But after the verse was revealed to him: “Your wives are arable land for you. Come to your arable land whenever and however you wish,” he said: “Have intercourse in front or behind, but avoid intercourse through the anus and during regulation.”
Third Hadith:
Khuzaimah ibn Thabit, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “Once a man asked the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, about intercourse with women from behind. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, replied: “This is permitted.” But as soon as the man left, the Prophet called him, or ordered to call this man, and the man was called, and clarified: “What did you say? Through which of the two holes? If in the back of the vagina, then yes. Well, if from behind through the anus, then no. Indeed, Allah is not ashamed of the truth. Don’t have sex with your wives through the anus.”
Fourth Hadith:
“Allah will not look upon a man who has intercourse with his wife through the anus.”
Fifth Hadith:
“Cursed is the one who has intercourse with women through the anus.”
Sixth Hadith:
7 – Ritual ablution (“voodoo”) between sexual acts.
If a man has sexual intercourse with his wife through a place permitted by Sharia, and then wishes to repeat intercourse, then it is advisable for him to perform ablution. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“If any of you has had intercourse with your wife and then wishes to repeat it again, let him perform ablution [between the two acts]. (Another version of the hadith says: “... let him perform the same ablution that he performs before prayer). [This will give him strength to have intercourse again].”
8 – It is better to perform a ritual bath (“ghusl”).
Still, it is better to take a bath instead of ablution. Abu Rafi said that one day the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, went around all his wives, bathing, first with one wife, then with another. Abu Rafi'i said: “Then I asked him: “O Messenger of Allah! Why don’t you bathe once?” He replied: “This is better, more beautiful and purer.”
9 – Spouses bathing together.
First Hadith:
Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “I and the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, bathed from one vessel that stood between us [in which our hands met]. The Prophet was always ahead of me, and then I said: “Allow me too, let me too!” “Muaza, who transmitted this hadith from Aisha, said: “Then they were both in a state of sexual defilement.”
Second Hadith:
Mu'awiyah ibn Hayda said: “Once I asked: “O Messenger of Allah! What should we do with our genitals?” He replied: “Take care of your genitals, except from your wife or the slave whom your right hand has possessed.” I asked: “O Messenger of Allah! But what if people are together?” The Messenger of Allah replied: “If you can, make sure that no one sees your genitals.” Then I asked: “O Messenger of Allah! What if a person is left alone with himself?” He replied: “Allah, more than people, deserves to be ashamed of Him!”
10 – Ablution performed before going to bed by a person in a state of sexual defilement.
Spouses who have been defiled by sexual intercourse should fall asleep only after performing ablution. This is reported in a number of hadiths:
First Hadith:
Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “When the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, wanted to [start eating or] go to sleep, being in a state of sexual defilement, he washed his genitals and performed ablution, just as he did this before prayer.”
Second Hadith:
Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said: “Umar once asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Can any of us go to sleep while in a state of sexual defilement?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, replied: “Yes, if he performs ablution.”
Another version of the hadith says: “Perform ablution, wash your penis, and then go to sleep.”
Another version says: “Yes. But let him perform ablution, and then go to sleep until he bathes whenever he wishes.”
Another version says: “Yes. But let him perform ablution if he wishes.”
Third Hadith:
Ammar ibn Yasir, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Angels do not approach three people: the corpse of an unbeliever, the one who has anointed himself with halyuk, and the one who is in a state of sexual defilement, until he performs ablution.”
11 – The position of the Sharia regarding this ablution.
Compliance with this regulation is not mandatory, but is strongly recommended. Umar narrated how he once asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him: “Can any of us go to sleep while in a state of sexual defilement?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, replied:
"Yes. But let him perform ablution if he wishes.”
This hadith is echoed by another hadith, transmitted from the words of Aisha. She said: “It happened that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, went to bed, being in a state of sexual defilement, without ever touching the water, [and then, when he got up, he bathed].”
12 – Ritual cleansing with sand (“tayammum”) of a person in a state of sexual defilement, instead of ablution.
Spouses who are in a state of sexual defilement are sometimes allowed to perform purification with sand instead of ablution. Aisha said:
“When the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was in a state of sexual defilement and wanted to go to sleep, he performed ablution with water or cleansed himself with sand.”
13 – It is preferable to swim before bed.
However, it is preferable for both spouses to bathe after intercourse. Abdullah ibn Qais said: “I once asked Aisha: “What did the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, do while in a state of defilement: did he bathe before going to bed or fell asleep before bathing?” She replied: “He did all kinds of things: sometimes he bathed before going to bed, and sometimes he performed ablution and then fell asleep.” Then I said: “Praise be to Allah, who has given the opportunity to choose in this matter.”
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Surah al-Baqarah, 223.
This hadith is cited by Ahmad (6/305, 310‑318) - in this case the hadith is given in his edition, as well as by at-Tirmidhi (3/75), who considered this hadith reliable, Abu Ya'la (329/1), Ibn Abi Hatim in his “at-Tafsir” (39/1 - manuscript of “Mahmudiyya”) and al-Beyhaqi (7/195). The chain of narrators of this hadith is reliable and meets the requirements of Muslim.
By “saddle” Umar ibn al-Khattab meant his wife. Entering into an intimate relationship with his wife, he copulated with her in the vagina, being behind her, while usually the man is on top of the woman, as if straddling her, so that she is facing the man. When entering into intercourse from behind, the man seems to sit in the saddle from the other side.
This hadith with a good chain of narrators is cited by an-Nasai in al-Ishra (76/2), at-Tirmidhi (2/162 - Bulyak publishing house), Ibn Abi Hatim (39/1), at-Tabarani (3 /156/2) and al-Wahidi (p. 53). At-Tirmidhi called the chain of narrators of this hadith good.
This hadith was reported by al-Shafi'i (2/260) and called him strong. From his words, the hadith was reported by al-Beyhaki (7/196), ad-Darimi (1/145), at-Tahawi (2/25) and al-Khattabi in Gharib al-Hadith (73/2). The chain of narrators of this hadith is reliable, as Ibn al-Mulyakkin wrote about this in his work “al-Khulyasa”. The message has other transmission routes, which are given by an-Nasa'i in al-Ishra (2/76 - 77/2), al-Tahawi, al-Beyhaki and Ibn Asaqir (8/46/1). According to al-Munziri (3/200), one of these paths can be considered good. Ibn Hibban (1299 - 1300) and Ibn Hazm (10/70) considered this path reliable, and Ibn Hajar agreed with them in al-Fath (8/154).
This hadith with a good chain of narrators from Ibn Abbas is cited by an-Nasai in al-Ishra (2/77-78/1), at-Tirmidhi (1/218) and Ibn Hibban (1302). At-Tirmidhi considered this hadith good, and Ibn Rahawayh called it authentic, as reported in the book “Masa’il al-Marwazi” (p. 221). This hadith has another way of transmission from Abu Hurayra with a good chain of narrators, which was cited by Ibn al-Jarud (334). Ibn Daqiq al-Eid called this path strong (128/1). It was also narrated by an-Nasai, Ibn Asakir (12/267/1) and Ahmad (2/272) from Abu Hurayrah.
This hadith with a good chain of narrators from Uqba ibn Amir is cited by Ibn Adiy (211/1). One of the narrators of this hadith was Ibn Wahb, who conveyed it from the words of Ibn Luhey’i. This hadith is supported by a hadith related from the words of Abu Hureyra and going back to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. It is reported by Abu Dawud (2162) and Ahmad (2/444 and 479).
This hadith, from the words of Abu Hureyra, is cited by the authors of the collections of the same name “al-Sunan”, with the exception of an-Nasai, who cites it in “al-Ishra” (78), as well as ad-Darimi, Ahmad (2/408 and 476) - the hadith is given in his presentation, and ad-Diya' in al-Mukhtara (10/105/2). As I explained in the essay “Naqd at-Taj” (No. 64), the chain of narrators of this hadith is reliable.
An-Nasai (sheet 77/2) and Ibn Batta in al-Ibana (6/56/2) reported the following from Tawus: “Ibn Abbas was once asked about who has intercourse with a woman through the anus. Ibn Abbas asked again: “Is this man asking me about disbelief?” “The chain of narrators of this legend is reliable. A similar story was related by Abu Hurairah, but there is a weak link in his chain of storytellers.
Al-Dhahabi in the book “Sair A'lyam al-Nubala” (9/171/1) came to the following conclusion: “Ultimately, all of us, thanks to the numerous ways of transmitting traditions, were convinced that the Prophet, peace be upon him, blessing of Allah, forbade intercourse with women through the anus, and we are absolutely confident in this prohibition. I also wrote a long work on this topic.”
Therefore, one should not be deceived by the words of Sheikh Jamal ad-Din al-Qasimi, spoken in his work “at-Tafsir” (3/572): “These hadiths are weak!” Firstly, this is the opinion of a person who is not an expert in this field of knowledge. Secondly, such a conclusion contradicts the results of scientific research, with the opinion of a number of theologians who recognized these hadiths as reliable and good, and, finally, with the conclusion of Imam al-Dhahabi on the legality of the ban, as evidenced by all collected in this Hadith section. At the forefront of the imams who recognized these hadiths as authentic is Ishaq ibn Rahawayh. The same opinion regarding these hadiths was held by early and late theologians who lived after him, such as at-Tirmizi, Ibn Hibban, Ibn Hazm, ad-Diya, al-Munziri, Ibn al-Mulyakkin, Ibn Daqiq al-Id, Ibn Hajar and many others whose names are not mentioned here. See, for example, the book “al-Irwa” (7/65-70).
This hadith from the words of Abu Said al-Khudri is cited by Muslim (1/171), Ibn Abi Shayb in al-Musannaf (1/51/2), Ahmad (3/28), Abu Nuaim in at-Tybb ( 2/12/1) - the addition in square brackets is given in its version, as well as other authors. We analyzed the ways of transmission of this hadith in the book “Sahih Sunan Abi Dawood” (No. 216).
This hadith with a good chain of narrators was narrated by Abu Dawud, an-Nasai in “Ishrat an-Nisa” (79/1), at-Tabarani (6/96/1), as well as Abu Nuaim in “at-Tybb” (2/ 12/1). Ibn Hajar called this hadith strong. I spoke in detail about this hadith in the book “Sahih al-Sunan” (No. 215).
This hadith was reported by al-Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Awana in the works of the same name by al-Sahih. We present this hadith in the Muslim version. The addition to the hadith, enclosed in square brackets, is given by Muslim, as well as in one of the variants of the hadith by al-Bukhari. Al-Bukhari entitled the chapter in which this hadith is given with the words: “The chapter on bathing a man with his wife.” Ibn Hajar in al-Fath (1/290) said the following: “Ad-Dawoodi, using this hadith as an argument, considered it permissible for a man to see his wife’s genitals, and, conversely, for a woman to see her husband’s genitals. This conclusion is confirmed by the story of Ibn Hibban from the words of Suleiman ibn Musa, who was once asked: “Is it possible for a man to see his wife’s genitals?” Suleiman replied: “I asked Atu, and he replied: “I asked Aisha about this, and she said...”, and then there is a hadith with a similar meaning, which is the main argument on this issue.”
This demonstrates the falsity of the statement attributed to Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her: “I have never seen the genitals of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.” This hadith was reported by at-Tabarani in al-Saghir (p. 27). According to at-Tabarani, this statement of Aisha was reported by Abu Nuaym (8/247) and al-Khatib (1/225). One of the narrators of this hadith is Baraka ibn Muhammad al-Halabi, who was a liar and an inventor. That is why Ibn Hajar in al-Lisan classifies this message as one of Baraka’s inventions.
This hadith has another way of transmission, which is given by Ibn Majah (1/226 and 593) and Ibn Sa'd (8/136). The name of a certain freedwoman Aisha appears here. The identity of this freedwoman has not been established, and therefore al-Busayri, in his work “al-Zawaid”, considered the chain of narrators of this transmission of this hadith to be weak.
There is also a third way of transmitting this hadith, which was cited by Abu ash-Sheikh in the work “Akhlyak an-Nabiyy, salla-l-Lahu alayhi wa-sallam” (p. 251). The names of the weak narrator Abu Salih, whose other name is Bazam, and the liar Muhammad ibn al-Qasim al-Asadi appear here.
The hadith is equally weak: “If any of you has an intimate relationship with his wife, then let him cover himself. And let spouses not expose themselves to each other during intercourse, just as wild donkeys expose themselves.” Ibn Majah (1/592) quotes this message from the words of Utba ibn Abd al-Sulami. The chain of his narrators includes the name of al-Ahwas ibn Hakim, who is a weak narrator. It is because of him that al-Busairi called this hadith weak. This hadith has one more flaw: one of its narrators is al-Walid ibn al-Qasima al-Hamadani, who transmitted it from al-Ahwas. Al-Walid had a reputation for being an unreliable narrator. He was considered weak by Ibn Ma'in and other scholars. Ibn Hibban said the following about al-Walid: “He stood apart among reliable narrators, transmitting hadiths that were not similar to theirs, and ceased to be the one to whom they resort for proof.” Referring to the above, al-Iraqi in Tahrij al-Ihya (2/46) considered the chain of narrators of this hadith to be weak. An-Nasai in “Ishrat an-Nisa” (1/79/1), al-Mukhlis in “al-Fawaid al-Muntaqa” (10/13/1) and Ibn Adiyy (149/2 and 201/2) cite This is the same message from the words of Abdullah ibn Sarjis. An-Nasai said the following about this hadith: “This is an unrecognized hadith that was not narrated by anyone except Sadaqi ibn Abdullah (one of his narrators), who is a weak narrator.”
The same hadith was reported by Ibn Abi Sheiba (7/70/1) and Abd ar-Razzaq (6/194/10467) from the words of Abu Kilyaba, who transmitted it directly from the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. However, this hadith is weak because among its narrators there is no name of the companion who transmitted this hadith from the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. The same hadith, but from the words of Ibn Mas'ud, is cited by at-Tabarani (3/78/1), Ahmad ibn Mas'ud in his book "al-Ahadith" (39/1-2), al-Uqayli in " ad-Duafa" (433), al-Batyrkani in his work "al-Hadith" (156/1) and al-Beyhaki in his collection "al-Sunan" (7/193). Al-Beyhaki considered this hadith weak, noting: “This hadith is transmitted only through Mandal ibn Ali, and he is not considered a reliable narrator.” Then al-Beyhaki cited the same hadith from the words of Anas and concluded: “This hadith is not recognized.” The same hadith was narrated by Abd ar-Razzaq (6/194/10469 and 10470).
As for another hadith: “If any of you has intercourse with his wife or a slave, he should not look at her genitals, as this leads to blindness,” then it is a complete fabrication, as reported by Imam Abu Hatim al-Razi and Ibn Hibban. The same conclusion was reached by Ibn al-Jawzi and Abd al-Haqq in his work al-Ahkam (143/1), as well as by Ibn Daqiq al-Id in al-Khulyasa (118/2). I explained the weakness of this hadith in my work “al-Ahadith ad-Daifa wa-l-Maudua wa-Asarukha al-Seyyi fi al-Umma” (“Weak and fictitious hadiths and their negative impact on the Muslim community”) (No. 195) .
Ibn Urwa al-Hanbali in al-Kawakib (575/29/1) said on this occasion: “Based on this hadith, both the husband and the wife are allowed to see any part of the spouse’s body and touch it. Even the genitals are no exception in this matter. Since spouses are allowed to enjoy each other's genitals, they are also allowed to look at and touch them like any other part of the body. Malik and other scholars adhered to the same position. Ibn Sa’d reported the following words to al-Waqidi: “I myself heard from Malik ibn Anas and Ibn Abi Zi’b that they did not consider it a sin for a husband to see his wife’s nakedness, and a wife to see her husband’s nakedness.” Then Ibn Urwa said: “Still, looking at the genitals is not advisable, since Aisha said: “I did not see the genitals of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.” Ibn Urwa did not know that the chain of narrators of this hadith is weak. The reasons why it should be considered weak have been discussed above.
This hadith is cited by the authors of al-Sunan collections of the same name, with the exception of an-Nasai, who quotes it in his other work, al-Ishra (76/1). This hadith is also cited by al-Ruyani in al-Musnad (27/169/1-2, 171/1, 2), Ahmad (5/3-4) and al-Beyhaqi (1/199). Here the hadith is given in the version of Abu Dawud (2/171). The chain of narrators of this hadith is good. Al-Hakim called it reliable, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. Ibn Daqiq al-Eid called this hadith powerful in his work al-Ilmam (126/2).
An-Nasai entitled the chapter in which this hadith is given with the words: “Can a woman look at the genitals of her husband.” Al-Bukhari cited this hadith as a note in his collection al-Sahih, in the “Chapter on bathing alone in a secluded place while naked, and that it is better to cover nakedness while bathing.” He then cited the hadith of Abu Hurayra, which reports that the prophets Musa and Eyyub, peace be upon them, bathed in solitude, naked. Thus, al-Bukhari pointed out that the words from the hadith: “Allah, more than people, deserves to be ashamed of Him,” means that covering nakedness in solitude is more preferable and desirable, but is not obligatory, as it may seem at first sight. Al-Manawi wrote: “The Shafiites believe that this statement should be taken as a recommendation. One of those who held this opinion was Ibn Jarir. He interpreted this hadith in the book al-Asar as a recommendation, saying: “This is so because no creation, whether naked or not, can hide from Allah Almighty.”
Ibn Hajar also expressed similar thoughts. Those who wish can refer to his work “al-Fath” (1/307).
This hadith is cited by al-Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Awan in their works of the same name “al-Sahih”. We have analyzed the transmission of this hadith in the book Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud (No. 218).
This hadith is cited by Abu Dawud, an-Nasai and at-Tirmidhi in their collections of the same name “al-Sahih”, as well as by Ibn Asakir (13/223/2). The second version of the hadith belongs to Abu Dawud. His chain of narrators is reliable, as I explained in the book Sahih Abi Dawood (No. 217). The third version belongs to Muslim, Abu Awan and al-Beyhaqi (1/210), and the last one is given by Ibn Khuzaimah and Ibn Hibban in their works of the same name “al-Sahih”, as reported in “at-Talkhis” (2/156 ). The latest version of the hadith indicates that ablution is not obligatory in these circumstances, and most scholars agree with this conclusion. In the next section we will go into more detail on this issue. It should be taken into account that if ablution before going to bed is not obligatory for a person who is in a state of sexual defilement, then it is certainly not obligatory for one who is not in such a state!
Ibn al-Athir said: “Haluk” is a well-known incense made from a mixture of saffron with other types of incense. The ban on it [for men] is due to the fact that such incense is used exclusively by women.”
This is a good hadith, two ways of transmission of which are given by Abu Dawud in his collection “al-Sunan” (2/192-193). Ahmad, al-Tahawi and al-Beyhaqi cited one of the two mentioned ways of this hadith. At-Tirmidhi and other scholars considered the chain of narrators of this hadith to be reliable. However, this statement is doubtful, as I noted in my study “Daif Sunan Abi Dawud” (No. 29). However, in favor of the first path, the text of which we have given in this book, is evidenced by two hadiths transmitted by al-Haythami in his work “al-Majma” (5/156). On this basis I considered this hadith good. One of these two hadiths was reported by at-Tabarani in al-Kabir (3/143/2) on the authority of Ibn Abbas.
Ibn Hibban conveyed this hadith in his work “al-Sahih” (232 - Mawarid Publishing House) from the words of his sheikh Ibn Khuzaimah. Ibn Hajar in his work “at-Talkhis” attributes this hadith to “as-Sahih” of Ibn Khuzaimah, as stated above. Then Ibn Hajar notes: “The basis of this hadith is found in the collections of the same name “al-Sahih” by al-Bukhari and Muslim without the addition: “if he wishes.” However, in Muslim’s collection “al-Sahih” this hadith is given with precisely such an addition, as we noted above. (See footnote #36). This is clear evidence that ablution before going to bed for a person who has been defiled by sexual intercourse is not a mandatory procedure, contrary to the opinion of the Zahirites.
This hadith is reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah (1/45/1), the authors of the collections of al-Sunan, with the exception of an-Nasai, who cites it in al-Ishra (79-80), as well as at-Tahawi, at -Tayalisi, Ahmad, al-Baghawi in the Hadith of Ali ibn al-Ja'd (9/85/1 and 11/114/2), Abu Ya'la in his al-Musnad (224/2), al-Beyhaqi and al-Hakim. Al-Beyhaki and al-Hakim recognized this hadith as authentic, and this is indeed the case, which I explained in the book “Sahih Abi Dawood” (No. 223). Afif ad-Din Abu al-Maali in his work “Sittun Hadith” (No. 6) cites this hadith as follows:
“If he woke up at the end of the night and had a need to copulate with his wives, he would go to them and then bathe.” In the chain of narrators of this hadith, the name of Abu Hanifa appears, may Allah have mercy on him.
Ibn Abi Shaybah reported with a good chain of narrators the words of Ibn Abbas: “If a man has performed sexual intercourse and then wants to repeat it, then there will be no harm if he postpones bathing until later.” Said ibn al-Musayyib said: “If a person in a state of sexual defilement wishes, he can go to bed before performing ablution.” The chain of narrators of this legend is reliable.
The opinion that ablution before going to bed is not obligatory for a person in a state of sexual defilement was shared by most scholars.
Ibn Abi Shaybah (2/173/2) narrated this hadith from the words of al-Sha'bi, who narrated it from the words of Masruq, who, in turn, narrated it from the words of Aisha. The chain of narrators of this hadith is reliable. This hadith is strong evidence in favor of the hadith cited immediately before it. It was also narrated by Ahmad (6/101 and 254) and Abu Ya'la in his work al-Musnad (224/1). I also discovered another way in which this hadith was transmitted.
Al-Beyhaqi (1/200) narrated this hadith from Assam ibn Ali, who narrated it from the words of Hisham, who narrated it from the words of his father, who narrated it from the words of Aisha. Ibn Hajar said in al-Fath (1/313): “This hadith has a good chain of narrators.”
Ibn Abi Sheiba (1/48/1) narrated the same hadith from the words of Assam, but on behalf of Aisha herself, and not on behalf of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, about a man who was defiled by sexual intercourse at night and wants to go to sleep . Aisha said the following: “He can perform ablution or cleanse himself with sand.” The chain of narrators of this legend is reliable.
The same hadith from the words of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, from the words of Hisham ibn Urwa was reported by Ismail ibn Ayyash. This is how this hadith looks like in his presentation: “If he had sexual intercourse with any of his wives, and then was too lazy to get up from the bed, then he would hit the wall with his palm and perform ablution with sand.” This version of this hadith from the words of Baqiyy ibn al-Walid, who transmitted it from the words of Ismail ibn Ayyash, was reported by at-Tabarani in al-Awsat (9/1, appendices). At the same time, at-Tabarani noted: “No one except Ismail conveyed this hadith from the words of Hisham.” However, it is known that Ismail was known as a weak narrator of hadiths transmitted from the words of the Hijazi, which is the hadith in this presentation. At the same time, the fact that this hadith was transmitted from the words of Hisham by Assam ibn Ali, who, as already mentioned, was a reliable narrator, refutes at-Tabarani’s assertion that no one except Ismail transmitted this hadith from the words of Hisham.
This hadith was narrated by Muslim (1/171), Abu Awana (1/278) and Ahmad (6/73 and 149).
It is prohibited to have sexual intercourse with your wife during menstruation. The Blessed and Exalted Allah said: “They ask you about menstruation. Say: “They cause suffering. Therefore, avoid sexual intercourse with women during menstruation and do not approach them until they are cleansed. And when they are cleansed, then come to them as Allah commanded you. Indeed, Allah loves those who repent and loves those who purify themselves."
A number of hadiths testify to the same.
First Hadith:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Whoever had sexual intercourse with a woman during the regulus or through the anus, or came to the soothsayer and believed his words, did not believe in what was revealed to Muhammad.”
Second Hadith:
Anas ibn Malik said:
“The Jews, when their women began to menstruate, took them out of the house, did not sit down to eat or drink with them, and did not stay in the same house with them. When the companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, asked him about this, Allah Almighty revealed the verse: “They ask you about menstruation. Say: “They cause suffering. Therefore, avoid sexual intercourse with women during menstruation...” Then the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “Stay with them in the same house and do everything except intercourse.” When the Jews became aware of this, they said: “No matter what we do, this man wants to be different from us in this!” After some time, Usaid ibn Khudair and Abbad ibn Bishr came and said: “O Messenger of Allah! The Jews say this and that. Shouldn’t we be intimate with them during menstruation?” Then the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, changed his face, and we thought that he was angry with them. When they left him, milk was carried past them, which they were going to give to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. He immediately sent after them and gave them something to drink, and it became clear to us that he was not angry with them.”
15 – Atonement offered by a man who has sexual intercourse with his wife during menstruation.
A man who succumbs to lust and has sexual intercourse with his wife before the cessation of menstruation is ordered to give alms in an amount equal to approximately half or a quarter of an English pound in gold. This is stated in the hadith reported by Abdullah ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, who said that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said about a man having sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman:
“He must give alms in the amount of a dinar or half a dinar.”
16 – What is permissible for a man when his wife is menstruating.
When a woman is on her period, the man is allowed to enjoy his wife's entire body, with the exception of the vagina. This is reported in the following hadiths:
First Hadith:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
"...and do everything except copulate."
Second Hadith:
Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
“When one of the wives of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, began to menstruate, he ordered her to put on an izar, and then lay down next to her.” She also once said, "Touched her."
Third Hadith:
One of the spouses of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “When the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, wanted to have an intimate relationship with his wife who was menstruating, he would throw clothes over her genitals, [and then do what was right for him whatever]".
17 – From what moment is it permissible to have sexual intercourse with your wife if she has cleared her menstruation?
At the end of menstruation, when the bleeding has stopped, the husband can have intercourse with his wife, but only after she has washed off traces of blood from herself or has bathed or performed ablution. Any of these actions performed by a woman makes her permissible for her husband, since the blessed and supreme Lord said: “And when they are cleansed, then come to them as Allah commanded you. Indeed, Allah loves those who repent and loves those who purify themselves."
18 – Permission to remove the penis from the vagina during ejaculation.
A man can ejaculate in such a way that the seed does not enter the woman’s reproductive organs. This is stated in a number of hadiths:
First Hadith:
Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “We ejaculated outside the vagina while the revelation of the Quran continued.”
Another version of this hadith says: “We ejaculated outside the vagina during the time of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. The Prophet of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, became aware of this, but he did not forbid us to do it.”
Second Hadith:
Abu Said al-Khudri said that a certain man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and asked: “O Messenger of Allah! I have a slave and during ejaculation I remove my penis from her vagina. I only want what other men want. However, the Jews declare that removing the penis from the vagina during ejaculation is tantamount to minor infanticide.” He said: “The Jews lie! [The Jews lie!] For if Allah wants to create a child, you will not be able to prevent it.”
Third Hadith:
Jabir narrated that a certain man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said: “I have a slave who serves us and waters our date palms. I have sex with her, but I don't want her to get pregnant. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, replied:
“If you want, during ejaculation, remove the penis from her vagina. But truly, what is destined for her will befall her.” Then the man left and did not appear for some time. Then he again came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said: “The slave has become pregnant!” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, replied:
“I told you that what is destined for her will befall her.”
19 – It is better to refrain from removing the penis from the vagina during ejaculation.
Still, it is better if a man refuses to remove the penis from the vagina during ejaculation. There are several reasons for this:
Firstly, such a practice harms a woman, as it does not allow her to fully enjoy sexual intercourse. Even if the woman herself agrees to this, it is necessary to remember that:
Secondly, such a practice interferes with one of the purposes of marriage - reproduction, slowing down the growth of the community of our Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Marry women who love and give birth often, and I will be proud of your numbers before other communities.”
It is therefore not surprising that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about removing the penis from the vagina during ejaculation, he called it hidden infanticide, saying:
"This is hidden infanticide."
Therefore, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, indicated that it is advisable to refrain from removing the penis from the vagina during ejaculation, as stated in the hadith reported from the words of Abu Saeed al-Khudri:
“Once, in the presence of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, someone started talking about removing the penis from the vagina during ejaculation. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, then said: “Why are any of you doing this?! (However, he did not say: “Let none of you do that again.”) Truly, if a soul is destined to be born, then Allah will certainly create it.” Another version of the hadith states that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Are you doing this? You do it? You do it? If any soul is destined to appear before the Day of Resurrection, then it will certainly appear.”
20 – Intentions of the spouses upon marriage.
Both spouses should enter into marriage with the intention of pacifying their souls and protecting them from everything that Allah has made forbidden for them. If they do this, their copulation will be recorded as a donation to them. Abu Dharr, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
“Once a group of companions turned to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, with the question: “O Messenger of Allah! Rich people receive more rewards. They pray the same as we do, fast the same as we do, but in addition they make donations from the surplus of their property.” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Has Allah not given you something from which you can donate? Verily, whenever you utter the words: “Subhana-L-lah!” (“Glory be to Allah!”), you make a donation. [Whenever you say: “Allahu Akbar!” (“Allah is great!”), you make a donation. Whenever you say: “La ilaha illa-l-lah!” (“There is no god but Allah!”), you make a donation. Whenever you exclaim: “Al-hamdu li-l-Lah!” (“Praise be to Allah!”), you make a donation]. Encouraging something to be approved is also a donation. Refraining from what is blameworthy is also a sacrifice. And your genitals contain a donation!” Then the companions asked: “O Messenger of Allah, is it possible that if any of us satisfies his desire, he will receive a reward?!” He said: “Tell me, does not the one who satisfies his passion in a forbidden way commit a sin?” [They answered: “Yes.” Then he said]: “If he does this in a permitted manner, then he will have a reward for it!” [He further mentioned several more deeds, calling them donations, and then said: “To receive a reward for all these deeds taken together, it is enough to perform two rak’ahs of morning prayer.”].”
21 – What should a man do the morning after his wedding night.
It is advisable that the morning after the first wedding night, the groom goes out to the relatives who came to his house, greets them and prays for them. The guests must answer the groom in kind. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
“The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, arranged a treat on the occasion of his wedding with Zainab. He fed the Muslims enough with bread and meat. Then he went out to the mothers of the believers, greeted them and prayed for them. They also greeted him and prayed for him. He did this the morning after his wedding night.”
22 – Be sure to allocate a place in the house for swimming.
Spouses must designate a place in the house for bathing. A woman is prohibited from bathing in a public bath. There are a number of hadiths on this matter:
First Hadith:
Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Let him who believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment not allow his wife to enter the bathhouse! Let no one who believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment enter the bathhouse without a cloth wrapped around his waist! Let him who believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment not sit at a table where wine is poured!”
Second Hadith:
Umm ad-Darda said: “Once I came out of a public bath and met the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. He asked me: “Where are you coming from, O Umm ad-Darda?” I answered: “From the bathhouse.” To this the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“I swear by Him in whose hand my soul is, that any woman who takes off her garments anywhere other than in the home of any of her mothers tears away all veils between herself and the Merciful!”
Third Hadith:
Abu al-Malih said: “Once upon a time, women from Sham came to Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her. Aisha asked: “Who are you?” The women replied: “We are the inhabitants of Sham.” Aisha asked: “You are probably from those places where women go to public baths?” The women answered: “Yes.” Then Aisha said: “Verily, I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, say:
“Any woman who takes off her clothes outside her home breaks what is between her and Allah Almighty.”
Spouses are prohibited from revealing secrets of their intimate lives. This is stated in two hadiths.
First Hadith:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Indeed, one of the worst people in terms of his position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be the one who enters into intimate relations with his wife and then divulges her secrets to others.”
Second Hadith:
Asma bint Yazid said that she was once next to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, when men and women were sitting with him. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Does a man really talk about what he did with his wife, and a woman talks about what she did with her husband?!” The people didn't say a word. Asma said: “Then I said: “O Messenger of Allah! Yes, I swear by Allah! Indeed, both women do this and men do this.” Then he said:
“Don't do that from now on. Truly, this act is like the act of the devil, who met a she-devil on the road and began to copulate with her right in front of people.”
_________________________________________________________________
Al-Shaukani in Fath al-Qadir (1/200) said: “There is no disagreement among theologians regarding the prohibition of intercourse with a woman during menstruation. This prohibition is known as the essential establishment of religion.”
That is, they cause suffering to a woman. Al-Qurtubi (3/85) and some other scholars believed that the smell of menstrual blood causes suffering. As-Seyyid Rashid Rida, may Allah have mercy on him, (2/362) said in this regard: “These words of the Almighty should be taken literally, as this is confirmed by medicine. Therefore, such an interpretation should not be abandoned.” Thus, he meant that suffering in this verse refers to the woman’s bodily ailment. He said: “Intercourse with a woman during her period causes her pain and damages her health. And if a man is freed from an illness of this kind, a woman is unlikely to avoid it. Sexual intercourse disturbs a woman’s reproductive organs when she is not ready for it and is not capable of it, since her body is busy performing another natural function, namely, the secretion of blood.”
The word “purify” in this case means the end of the flow of menstrual blood, since the Arabic verb “tahura” (“to purify”) is used here. Here we mean cleansing that does not depend on the will of the woman herself, in contrast to the cleansing mentioned by the Almighty in the words: “And when they are cleansed...”. Here, purification refers to the action of the woman herself, namely, her use of water for purification, since in this case the Arabic verb “tatahhara” (“to purify oneself”) is used. This issue will be discussed in detail in section 17.
Surah al-Baqarah, 222.
This hadith was reported by Muslim and Abu Awana in their works of the same name, al-Sahih, as well as by Abu Dawud. (See Sahih Sunan Abi Dawood, Hadith No. 250). In this case, the hadith is given in the version of Abu Dawood.
Dinar is a gold coin that, during the time of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, weighed one mithqal. This is equivalent to 4.25 grams of pure gold. – Approx. Ed.
This hadith with a reliable chain of narrators that meets the requirements of al-Bukhari is cited by the authors of the collections of the same name “al-Sunan”, al-Tabarani in “al-Mu’jam al-Kabir” (3/14/1, 146/1 and 148/ 2), Ibn al-A'rabi in his work "al-Mu'jam" (15/1 and 49/1), ad-Darimi, al-Hakim and al-Beyhaqi. Al-Hakim recognized the chain of narrators of this hadith as reliable, and al-Zahabi, ibn Daqiq al-Id, Ibn at-Turkmani, Ibn al-Qayyim, Ibn Hajar al-Askalani agreed with him, which I explained in the book “Sahih Sunan Abi Davud" (256). Ibn al-Mulakkin also agreed with him in his book “Khulyasat al-Badr al-Munir”. Imam Ahmad, before the scholars mentioned above, recognized the reliable chain of narrators of this hadith and considered it necessary to adhere to its meaning. Abu Dawud in al-Masail (26) said: “I once heard Imam Ahmad being asked about a man who had intercourse with his wife during menstruation. Ahmad said: “How well it is said about this (i.e. about this man) in the hadith of Abd al-Hamid!” I asked, “Do you hold this opinion?” Ahmad replied: “Yes. This is redemption." [I asked]: “So a dinar or half a dinar?” He replied: “Whatever.”
Many other righteous predecessors, whose names al-Shaukani cites in “an-Neil” (1/244), considered it necessary to act in accordance with the meaning of this hadith. Ash-Shaukani also accepted the chain of narrators of this hadith as reliable.
The choice between a dinar and half a dinar probably depends on the financial situation of the almsgiver, as one version of this hadith clearly indicates, even if the chain of narrators is weak. And Allah knows best about this. Equally weak is another version of this hadith, which makes a distinction between copulation committed at the time of discharge of blood and copulation committed after the woman has cleared her menstruation but has not bathed. The text of this version of this hadith is given in the 17th section of this book. (See footnote no.)
This hadith is a fragment of the hadith of Anas ibn Malik, which was given in the 14th section.
Isar is a piece of cloth that is worn around the waist. – Approx. Ed.
This hadith is cited by al-Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Awan in the works of the same name “al-Sahih”. It was also narrated by Abu Dawud. In this case, the hadith is given in the version of Abu Dawood (Sahih Sunan Abi Dawood, Hadith No. 260).
An-Nihaya says: “By touching in this case we mean sexual intimacy. The verb “bashara” (“to touch”) comes from the noun “bashara” (“skin”) and means the contact of a man’s skin with a woman’s skin. This verb is often used to mean “to have sexual intercourse,” both inside and outside the vagina.”
It is clear that this verb is used in this hadith to mean “to have sexual intercourse outside the vagina.” Aisha herself shared this opinion, may Allah be pleased with her. Al-Sahba bint Karim said: “I once asked Aisha: “What is permitted for a man when a woman is menstruating?” Aisha replied: “Anything except copulation.” This statement of Aisha was reported by Ibn Sa'd (8/485). It is also reliably known that she held a similar opinion regarding the fasting person. This is discussed in detail in the book “Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahiha” (volume 1, hadiths No. 220 and No. 221).
This hadith was reported by Abu Dawud (Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith No. 262), and in this case the hadith is given in his version. The chain of narrators of this hadith is authentic and meets the requirements of Muslim. Ibn Abd al-Hadi also called the chain of narrators of this hadith authentic, and Ibn Hajar and al-Beyhaqi (1/314) considered it reliable. The addition in square brackets is given in al-Beyhaqi's version.
This was the opinion of Ibn Hazm (10/81). He reported the statement of Ata and Qatada, who believed that if at the end of menstruation a woman sees that there is no more bleeding, she must wash her genitals and after that she becomes permissible for her husband. The book “Bidayat al-Mujtahid” (1/44) states that al-Auzai held the same opinion. Ibn Hazm said: “We quoted Ata’s statement that if a woman sees that there is no more bleeding and performs ablution, then her husband is allowed to have intercourse with her. Abu Suleiman and all adherents of the Zahiri madhhab held the same opinion.” Ibn Abi Shayba in al-Musannaf (1/66) cites the same message from Ata.
Ibn al-Mundhir reported that Mujahid and Ata stated the following: “If a woman sees that there is no more bleeding, then there is no sin if she washes her genitals with water and her husband has intercourse with her before she has bathed.” This message was conveyed by Ibn al-Mundhir to al-Shaukani (1/202.)
Ibn Katheer (1/260) said:
“All scholars are unanimous in the opinion that if a woman’s regula have ceased, then she cannot be permitted to her husband until she bathes, or performs cleansing with sand, if it is impossible to bathe, while observing all the conditions for such purification. This opinion was shared by everyone except Abu Hanifa, may Allah have mercy on him, who believed that if after the end of the period of menstruation, which, in his opinion, is equal to ten days, the bleeding has stopped, then the woman can be considered permissible only because the bleeding has stopped, and bathing is not necessary for her.”
The above statement by Ibn Kathir that all scholars except Abu Hanifa held this opinion is not true. And how can one agree with him, knowing that three great scholars from among the disciples of the companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, Mujahid, Qatada and Ata, believed that a man was allowed to have intercourse with his wife after the end of her period, even if she had not bathed?! A sane person will see this as an instructive example of the fact that one cannot hastily assert that on some issue there is a unanimous opinion of all scientists, since it is practically impossible to find out the opinion of everyone. You should also not hastily confirm the words of those who claim this, especially if their statements contradict the Sunnah or other Shariah evidence.
As for the opinion of Abu Hanifa, cited by Ibn Kathir, many authors cite it, accompanying it with comments refuting the correctness of this judgment. Ibn Hazm described it as follows:
“There is no judgment more untenable than this, since it is not supported by a single argument. We know of no one else who expressed a similar opinion, either before Abu Hanifa or after him, except those who blindly imitate him.”
Al-Qurtubi said (3/79):
“This judgment is completely baseless.”
Therefore, as-Sayyid Rashid Rida said:
"This judgment contains strange details."
The fact is that the blessed and Almighty Allah allowed husbands to have sexual intercourse with their wives, provided that the wives purify themselves, that is, wash themselves with water. As mentioned above, a woman’s self-purification is an additional condition, in addition to the condition of being cleansed from menstruation. Therefore, one cannot cancel this condition or make an exception from it, arguing that it is only necessary to cleanse oneself if menstruation has stopped before ten days. All this is nothing more than the personal opinion of Abu Hanifa himself, may Allah have mercy on him. We have no right to act on this opinion, since it contradicts the absolute meaning of the Qur'anic verse. In addition, it is reliably reported that Abu Hanifa, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“No one is allowed to accept our words without knowing the source from which we took them. After all, we are all human: today we say one thing, and tomorrow we renounce our words.” (An analysis of the ways of transmitting this statement by Abu Hanifa can be found in our book “Description of the Prophet’s Prayer” (pp. 28-29, publishing house “Ummah”)).
How can we be guided by the words of Abu Hanifa if we know that they contradict evidence from the Koran and Sunnah?!
It is also worth considering the following: we argue that a woman can simply wash off the blood, perform ablution or bathe, since the meaning of the word “purification” (Arabic “tatahhur”) can include all three of the above actions. Ibn Hazm said:
“There is no disagreement among scholars regarding the idea that ablution is purification. Washing the genitals with water is also cleansing. Washing the whole body is also cleansing. Therefore, if a woman notices that the bleeding has stopped and purifies herself in any of these ways, she is considered permissible for her husband.”
It is in its second meaning - washing the private part with water - that this word is found in another verse of the Almighty: “The mosque, which from the first day was founded on piety, deserves more that you stand in it. There are men in it who love to cleanse themselves. Indeed, Allah loves those who purify themselves” (Surah at-Tawbah, 108). In this case, cleansing means washing the anus from excrement. An authentic hadith reports that after this verse was revealed, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, addressed the residents of the town of Quba with the following words:
“Indeed, Allah, blessed and exalted, has given you excellent praise for purification in the story of your mosque. What is this purification that you are performing?” The people replied: “We swear by Allah, O Messenger of Allah! We don't know anything. However, next to us lived Jewish neighbors who washed their butts to cleanse themselves of excrement. And we began to wash ourselves just like them.” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “This is exactly what the verse says. So keep doing the same.” Al-Hakim and al-Dhahabi recognized this hadith as authentic. In my book “al-Samar al-Mustatab fi Fiqh al-Sunnah wa-l-Kitab”, in the section “The Excellence of the Mosque of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,” I analyzed the ways of transmitting this hadith and shared my own thoughts on this matter.
The word “purification” in the same meaning is found in a hadith, transmitted from the words of Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her: “One woman asked the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, a question about bathing after the end of menstruation, and he explained to her how it should be done. do, saying: “Take a piece of cotton wool soaked in musk and cleanse yourself with it.” She asked: “How can I cleanse myself?” He said, “Be cleansed by it.” She asked again: “How?” And then the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, exclaimed: “Glory to Allah! Cleanse yourself!” Then I called her to me and said: “Wipe with it those places where traces of blood remained.” This hadith was reported by al-Bukhari (1/229-330), Muslim (1/179) and others.
Thus, there is no evidence that by purification in the words of the great and glorious Allah: “And when they are purified...” only bathing is meant. This verse has a general meaning and covers all three meanings mentioned above. Whichever of these methods is used by a woman who has stopped menstruating, it becomes permissible for her husband. From the entire Sunnah, I do not know a single hadith that directly relates to this issue, except for the hadith reported from the words of Ibn Abbas that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“If any of you has intercourse with a woman during her menstruation, then let him give one dinar in charity. If any of you has intercourse with a woman after her period has ended, but before she has bathed, then let him give half a dinar in charity.” However, this hadith is weak, since in the chain of its narrators the name of Abd al-Karim ibn Abi al-Muharik Abu Umayyah appears, whom scholars unanimously recognized as a weak narrator. As I was able to prove in the book “Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud” (No. 258), anyone who believes that this Abd al-Karim is none other than the reliable transmitter of hadith Abd al-Karim al-Jazari Abu Said al-Jazari is deeply mistaken. Harrani. In addition, different narrators of this hadith convey its text in different versions that contradict each other, due to which we cannot use this hadith as a full-fledged argument even if the chain of its narrators were reliable. How then can you rely on him, knowing that she is weak?!
Every nation has its own beliefs, every faith has its own rituals and customs, but there are things that are equally special for all people in the world. The first marriage in Muslim countries is the finale of the wedding celebration, and it implies compliance with a number of rules and customs, and not just the physical intimacy of the newlyweds. A few tips will help you have a proper Islamic wedding night better than the stories of girls who have already gone through this.
Preparation for the first wedding night among Muslims
While the guests are relaxing at the wedding and raising their glasses to the happy life of the newlyweds, the bride is preparing for the fact that she will spend the first night of her life outside her parents' house. Despite the fact that there is practically no tradition of showing a sheet after the first intimacy in a Muslim family, a girl must protect her virginity before marriage. Therefore, before entering into intimate contact with his bride, the groom must show maximum care and patience. According to Muslim customs, this is done as follows:
- the husband puts his hand on the woman’s head and speaks kind words to her, praises her in every possible way and declares his love, reads a prayer - basmala, ending his speech with the words “In the Name of Allah”;
- the newlyweds must read two rakat nafil prayers, after which only the spouse reads another one, in which he asks Allah for blessings on family life;
- the man must feed his newly-made wife with sweets, fruits, honey and milk;
- all Muslim women are very modest, so before entering into intimacy with his wife, the husband must do everything so that she can relax and trust him.
Before the wedding and wedding night take place, it is customary in Islam to transport the bride's belongings and dowry to her new marital home in advance. By the way, an Islamic dowry is 40 pillows and blankets, which people begin to collect from childhood and decorate with their own hands.
As sometimes happens among Muslims, a girl is given in marriage to a stranger. Then it’s understandable why Muslims are afraid of their wedding night. Especially girls who may simply be unprepared for intimacy with their new spouse because they saw him for the first time. A man should show delicacy and maximum patience, and not insist on sexual intercourse on the first night if his wife is not ready to completely trust him. But she, in turn, should not be too cold towards her husband, reject his care and be inattentive. If a woman has her period at this time, sexual intercourse, naturally, will not take place. Moreover, sex on Haida days is haram (prohibited) among Muslims. Muslims spend their first wedding night completely differently from the Orthodox, who first of all count the money they donate and finish the wedding cake.
Despite the fact that most Muslim traditions have already become history, the most important thing to this day remains a warm atmosphere where spouses are gentle and attentive towards each other.
Bismillah is the same prayer on the first wedding night in Islam, which the husband reads with his palm on his wife’s head. He cannot enter into intimate intimacy with her until he makes a dua - this is exactly how the Prophet of Allah taught to first ask to protect his wife and future children who will appear from their relationship from the shaitan. The dua on the wedding night of Muslims is found in Abu Dawud, Nikah (Book of Marriage) 46 and translated into Russian it sounds like this: “Oh, Allah! I ask you for her good, and for the good of her character. And they resort to your protection from her evil and from the evil of her character.” Prayer on the first wedding night among Muslims helps newlyweds get rid of anxiety, get a little distracted and ask Allah for blessings for the family before enjoying each other to the fullest:
Traditions and rituals in different countries
Traditions may differ depending on the region. In some places it’s quite a bit, and in others it’s quite significant. Let's look at the different options in more detail.
In Dagestan
Dagestan is a place where people professing Judaism, Christianity and Islam live on the same territory. But there are traditions that are unique to Dagestanis. There are many things that different peoples of the world do not like to do on their wedding night, but only in Dagestan do newlyweds observe the ritual of martial arts. Girls are prepared for this from childhood, and before the first night with her husband, her head is shaved and the areas of her body free from clothing are smeared with fat. The clothes of a newly-made Dagestan wife must consist of a large number of knots that the man had to overcome in order to finally begin deflowering his missus. The sacrament of the first wedding night is not observed here: guests and relatives are allowed to eavesdrop and spy on what is happening, except perhaps entering the newlyweds’ room. The fight could go on for a very long time, but according to ancient traditions, the man must still win, otherwise the girl will be persuaded to surrender or, finally, starved to death. It is not so easy to rid a wife of overalls, but no weapons were allowed, although the wife could suffer physically from the rough actions of a man who sought to take possession of her as quickly as possible.
Among the Arabs
This people, perhaps more often than all the others, observes the tradition of deflowering a girl only after marriage. Arab women are forbidden to talk about their first sexual experience, so unfulfilled women can only guess and fear what is happening in the marital bed. In addition to other Muslim traditions, Arabs strictly follow the ritual of ablution immediately after sexual intercourse. The next morning, the Arabs again gather guests, set a rich table, but both spouses are supposed to remain silent about how the night went.
In the Caucasus
Armenians have also long observed the tradition of taking out the sheet as a confirmation of the bride’s innocence, but reviews from modern residents of the Caucasus indicate that this is a thing of the past. However, many families still honor other traditions: for example, after the first wedding night, the groom disappeared until the evening, and his relatives presented the bride with red apples and silver coins. The bride's relatives were also treated to apples, wine, and money. Previously, this was done only if her innocence before the wedding was confirmed. Otherwise, the woman was put on a donkey backwards and walked through the central streets. Now, of course, maintaining chastity for a single man is not so important for modern society.
It's no secret that eastern peoples honor traditions much more than anyone else. Therefore, girls of a different faith who are preparing to marry a Muslim should expect that she will have to observe some rituals together with her husband. It is better to discuss such issues in advance so that the first wedding night does not pass in a quarrel and does not become the last for their legal union. For a Muslim, as a rule, the faith of his bride is of no value. Almost all Islamic peoples take their religion very seriously, and they themselves will never betray it. But they always dream of a full-fledged Muslim family, where both the wife and children profess Islam. Therefore, despite love despite different religions, girls should look at things realistically and consider all options for the further development of events in a mixed family.
Published/updated: 2006-04-03 11:50:33. Views: 153195 |After sexual intercourse, it is advisable for the husband and wife to immediately bathe; if this is not possible, then they need to at least perform ritual ablution (wudu). Eating, drinking and sleeping without this is extremely undesirable.
Abdullah bin Qais (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he asked Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “How did the Prophet behave after marital intimacy, did he bathe before going to bed or after it? " Aisha replied: “He did both. Sometimes I bathed before going to bed, or performed ablution and slept.” However, it should be noted that in the morning, after the night ablution, bathing is still mandatory.
Desirable actions on the first wedding night
- - put your hand on your wife’s head and say: “Bismillahi (in the name of Allah)” and ask for His blessings in marriage.
It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “When one of you gets married, let him put his hand on his wife’s forehead and say “Bismillahi.” Allahumma inni as'aluka min khairiha wa khairi ma jalabtaha 'alaihi, wa 'auzu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jalabtaha 'alaihi. (In the name of Allah. O Allah, I ask You for the good of her (wife), good offspring, protection from her evil and from ungodly offspring."
After this, it is advisable for the newlyweds to perform two rak'ahs of namaz-nafil and read the following dua after it: “Allahumma barik li fi ahli wa barik lahum fi, Allahumma ijma' bainana ma jama'ta bihairin, wa farrik bainana iza farrakta ila khairin (O Allah, bless me in a life together with my wife, and her with me. O Allah, establish goodness between us, and if divorce befalls us, then separate us in goodness."
It is advisable to set the table with food and drinks on the second day of marriage and invite relatives, loved ones, and Islamic scholars.
It is reported that when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) got married, he was given a cup of milk, he drank from it, and then handed the cup to Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), his wife, and she lowered her head in embarrassment.
In order to overcome the girl’s feelings of modesty and embarrassment, the young man should talk to her, joke, caress her when they are alone. It is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “You do not attack your wife like an animal, let there be a message between you.” “What is the message?” - they asked him. “Affectionate conversation and kisses,” answered the Prophet. In general, on the first night of marriage, it is advisable for newlyweds to only get to know each other better and communicate, and to begin their married life the next night.
Before marital relations, it is advisable for the husband to read the dua: “Bismillahi, Allahumma janibna shshaitana, wa janib shshaitana ma razaktana (In the name of Allah. O Allah, remove the shaitan from us and from those with whom you will give us).” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever reads this dua before intimacy with his wife, as a result of which a boy or girl is born, then the Shaitan will never harm this child in the future.”
All types of sexual relations are permitted in any position, provided that this occurs in the vagina. The Koran says: “Your wives are a field (field) for you; go to your field whenever you wish and as you wish.” However, it is still desirable that it be decent and not too provocative.
When having sexual intercourse again, it is advisable for spouses to perform a ritual ablution (wudu) or bathe (ghusl). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “When you want to repeat sexual intercourse, perform ablution, for it increases sexual activity.”
Article source: Huda Khattab's book, "The Muslim Woman's Handbook"
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The problem of women's fears associated with the onset of sexual activity has always existed, regardless of time, place and other related factors. However, if in some societies marrying a virgin is considered almost a special favor of Fortune, then in others the beginning of sexual relations has always (with rare exceptions) been and remains associated with mandatory marriage. One of these is Arab society, in which young girls still experience fear before starting the physiological side of married life. Therefore, it is not surprising that among the questions addressed by representatives of the fair sex to the famous Egyptian specialist in the field of marital relations, Hebe Kotb, one of the most common is the one that in one form or another concerns the problem of fear of the wedding night.
“I’m getting married soon,” writes one of the visitors to Heba Kotb’s website. - However, the first wedding night seems to me something unknown and, perhaps, even dangerous. I am afraid of sexual contact with a man and the pain that comes as a result of it. What and how should I do to satisfy my husband and myself?
First of all, I would like to note that your words that contact with a man brings pain are incorrect,” answers H. Kotb, a doctor of sexology and a graduate of Maimonides University (USA). - You must understand that a relationship with your husband on your wedding night is nothing more than a wonderful romantic relationship, crowning a complex of warm feelings that arise between a man and a woman. This is the tip of the iceberg, in which there is a place for compassion, sympathy, affection, and, of course, love and desire. Sexual contact with a husband is by no means an obstacle for girls, as some believe. Of course, it will entail certain physiological changes in the girl’s genitals. However, this does not mean that the wedding night will cause her unbearable and acute pain.
According to the specialist, the reason for such fears is largely due to a phenomenon that she calls “fear of the body.”
After the wedding night, says Heba, the girl cannot tell others about her successful experience. If she wants to do this, then her mother or other relatives forbid her to do so. Therefore, in the minds of girls, contact with their husband on their wedding night seems like some kind of obstacle that is difficult or even impossible to overcome. But, as I already said, the truth is radically different from these words.
From a physiological point of view, everything is also quite simple. It takes some time for muscle tissue to get used to processes that have not happened to it before. And, I assure you, there is no problem in this.
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Such questions by their very presence involuntarily suggest the idea that they are a kind of indicator of the moral health of a society in which natural concerns about the beginning of marital and sexual life arise inseparably from each other. Isn’t this the key to solving many problems of Russian society, primarily the problem of demography?