Nadezhda Suvorova

Unhealthy Lifestyle

As sad as it may be, the inhabitants of the country... Favorite phrase of Russians: “It will go away on its own!” It is not customary for us to trust doctors, but it is customary to use traditional medicine recipes. Some even treat cancer with herbs and magic devices.

This happens because for such a long period of the country’s existence, we have not focused on health. We are not educated in this area and misunderstand the meaning of the saying: “What does not kill us makes us stronger.” Love for an idle lifestyle leads Russian people to.

Fortunately, today the younger generation is beginning to take an interest in their health, are interested in sports, and go to the gym to gain a beautiful figure. But this is only the beginning of a long journey after the realization that Russia was sliding down.

Life "by connections"

Another established distinctive feature of the Russian people is bribery. 200 years ago in Russia it was customary to give officials a fee for services, but even when this right was abolished, the habit remained.

The officials had settled into such comfortable conditions that they never wanted to lose financial contributions from the people. Therefore, issues are still being resolved not according to the law, but “through pull.”

It is impossible to eradicate this trait at this historical stage in Russia, since there are other global problems, but the struggle has already begun and is bringing success.

Endurance

Historical events such as uprisings, wars, blockades and constant changes of rulers led to troubles for the Russian people. This made it possible to cultivate endurance, patience and the ability to withstand adversity in people.

Russian people are only recently getting used to comfort. Previously, we spent a lot of time in the fields to feed our family; there were often lean years, so we had to work without sleep or rest.

Weather conditions also influenced the formation of the Russian mentality. Foreigners are terribly afraid of the cold. For them, 0 degrees is already a reason to wear a sheepskin coat. The Russian people are accustomed to such temperatures and tolerate them well. One has only to remember the tradition of diving into an ice hole at Christmas. Some Russians actually practice winter swimming all winter.

Today Russia is emerging from the crisis, and the people are facing new challenges. Therefore, the mentality is gradually changing, acquiring new features. But some of them will forever remain in Russian souls and will help them remain invincible and undaunted in the face of dangerous enemies.

26 February 2014, 17:36

In general, mentality is the prevailing schemes, stereotypes and patterns of thinking. Russians are not necessarily Russians. An individual may be proud of being a “Cossack”, “Bashkir” or “Jew” within Russia, but outside its borders all Russians (past and present) are traditionally called (regardless of origin) Russians. There are reasons for this: as a rule, they all have similarities in their mentality and behavioral patterns.

Russians have something to be proud of, we have a huge and strong country, we have talented people and deep literature, while we ourselves know our own weaknesses. If we want to become better, we must know them.

So, let's look at ourselves from the outside, namely from the side of strictly scientific research. What do cultural researchers note as specific features of the Russian mentality?

1. Sobornost, the primacy of the general over the personal: “we are all our own,” we have everything in common and “what will people say.” Conciliarity results in the absence of the concept of privacy and the opportunity for any neighbor’s grandmother to intervene and tell you everything she thinks about your clothes, manners and the upbringing of your children.

From the same opera, the concepts of “public” and “collective”, which are absent in the West. “The opinion of the collective”, “don’t separate from the team”, “what will people say?” - conciliarity in its purest form. On the other hand, they will tell you if your tag is sticking out, your shoelace is untied, your pants are stained, or your grocery bag is torn. And also - they flash their headlights on the road to warn about the traffic police and save you from a fine.

2. The desire to live in truth. The term "pravda", often found in ancient Russian sources, means legal norms, on the basis of which the trial was carried out (hence the expressions “to judge the right” or “to judge in truth”, that is, objectively, fairly). Sources of codification are norms of customary law, princely judicial practice, as well as borrowed norms from authoritative sources - primarily the Holy Scriptures.

Outside of Russian culture, people often talk about law-abiding, decorum, or following religious commandments. In the Eastern mentality, Truth is not talked about; in China, it is important to live according to the precepts left by Confucius.

3. When choosing between reason and feeling, Russians choose feeling: sincerity and sincerity. In the Russian mentality, “expediency” is practically synonymous with selfish, selfish behavior and is not held in high esteem, like something “American.” It is difficult for the average Russian citizen to imagine that one can act intelligently and consciously not only for oneself, but also for the sake of someone, therefore selfless actions are identified with actions “from the heart,” based on feelings, without the head.

Russian - dislike of discipline and methodicality, life according to one's soul and mood, change of mood from peacefulness, forgiveness and humility to merciless rebellion to complete destruction - and vice versa. The Russian mentality lives rather according to the female model: feeling, gentleness, forgiveness, reacting with crying and rage to the consequences of such a life strategy.

4. A certain negativism: most Russians more often see flaws in themselves rather than virtues. Abroad, if a person accidentally touches another person on the street, the standard reaction of almost everyone is: “Sorry,” an apology and a smile. That's how they were raised. It’s sad that in Russia such patterns are more negative, here you can hear “Well, where are you looking?”, and something more harsh. Russians understand well what melancholy is, despite the fact that this word is untranslatable into other European languages. On the streets, it is not customary for us to smile, look into the faces of others, make indecent acquaintances, or simply start talking.

5. A smile in Russian communication is not a mandatory attribute of politeness. In the West, the more a person smiles, the more polite he is. In traditional Russian communication, priority is given to the requirement of sincerity. A smile among Russians demonstrates a personal affection for another person, which, naturally, does not apply to everyone. Therefore, if a person smiles not from the heart, it causes rejection.

You can ask for help - most likely they will help. It's normal to beg for both a cigarette and money. A person in a constantly good mood raises suspicion - either sick or insincere. Anyone who usually smiles affably at others is, if not a foreigner, then, of course, a sycophant. Of course, insincere. He says “Yes”, agrees - a hypocrite. Because a sincere Russian person will definitely disagree and object. And in general, the truest sincerity is when you swear! Then you trust the person!

6. Love of controversy. Disputes traditionally occupy a large place in Russian communication. Russian people love to argue on a variety of issues, both private and general. Love for debate on global, philosophical issues is a striking feature of Russian communicative behavior.

Russian people are often interested in argument not as a means of finding the truth, but as a mental exercise, as a form of emotional, sincere communication with each other. This is why in Russian communicative culture those arguing so often lose the thread of the argument and easily deviate from the original topic.

At the same time, it is completely uncharacteristic to strive for compromise or to let the interlocutor save face. Uncompromisingness and conflict are manifested very clearly: our person is uncomfortable if he did not argue, could not prove that he was right. “As an English teacher formulated this quality: “A Russian always bets to win.” And vice versa, the characteristic “conflict-free” rather has a disapproving connotation, like “spineless”, “unprincipled”.

7. Russian people live by faith in the good that will one day descend from heaven(or simply from above) to the long-suffering Russian land: “Good will definitely defeat evil, but then, someday.” At the same time, his personal position is irresponsible: “Someone will bring us the truth, but not me personally. I can’t do anything myself and I won’t do anything.” For several centuries now, the main enemy of the Russian people has been the state in the form of a serving-punitive class.

8. The “keep your head down” principle. The Russian mentality has a disdainful attitude towards politics and democracy as a form of political structure in which the people are the source and controller of the activities of power. Characteristic is the conviction that people don’t really decide anything anywhere and democracy is a lie and hypocrisy. At the same time, tolerance and habit of lies and hypocrisy of their authorities due to the conviction that it is impossible otherwise.

9. Habit of theft, bribery and deception. The conviction that everyone steals everywhere, and that it is impossible to earn big money honestly. The principle is “if you don’t steal, you don’t live.” Alexander I: “In Russia there is such theft that I’m afraid to go to the dentist - I’ll sit in a chair and they’ll steal my jaw...” Dahl: “Russian people are not afraid of the cross, but they’re afraid of the pestle.”

At the same time, Russians are characterized by a protest attitude towards punishment: punishing for minor violations is not good, somehow petty, it is necessary to “forgive!” will sigh for a long time until he gets angry and starts a pogrom.

10. A characteristic feature of the Russian mentality that follows from the previous paragraph is the love of freebies. Movies need to be downloaded via torrent, pay for licensed programs - it’s a waste, the dream is the joy of Leni Golubkov in the MMM pyramid. Our fairy tales depict heroes who lie on the stove and eventually receive a kingdom and a sexy queen. Ivan the Fool is strong not because of his hard work, but because of his intelligence, when Pike, Sivka-Burka, Little Humpbacked Horse and other wolves, fish and firebirds do everything for him.

11. Taking care of health is not a value, sports are strange, getting sick is normal, but it is categorically not allowed to abandon the poor, and it is also considered morally unacceptable to leave those who did not care about their health and, as a result, became essentially helpless and disabled. Women look for the rich and successful, but love the poor and sick. “How can he live without me?” - hence codependency as a norm of life.

12. In us, pity takes the place of humanism. If humanism welcomes care for a person, placing a free, developed, strong person on a pedestal, then pity directs care to the unfortunate and sick. According to statistics from Mail.ru and VTsIOM, helping adults is in fifth place in popularity after helping children, the elderly, animals and helping environmental problems. People feel more sorry for dogs than for people, and among people, out of a sense of pity, it is more important to support non-viable children, rather than adults who could still live and work.

In the comments to the article, some agree with such a portrait, others accuse the author of Russophobia. No, the author loves Russia and believes in it, having been engaged in educational activities for his country for many decades now. There are no enemies here and there is no need to look for them here, our task is different: namely, to think about how we can raise our country and raise children - our new citizens.

The mentality of a Russian woman is significantly different from the mentality of the fairer sex in the vast majority of countries in the world. Feminized foreign women consider Russian ladies to be overly conservative, prone to subordination to the patriarchal structure and unable to defend their rights. But a Russian woman can still teach her foreign friend something.

Femininity

The ability to be feminine under any circumstances is one of the main qualities of a Russian lady. Even after moving to another country, Russian women allow men to feel courageous next to them. Progressive Dutch, American or German women may be offended if a guy opens the door for them, carries loaded bags or pays the bill at a restaurant.

Foreign women do all this themselves, zealously defending their right to be equal to men in all respects. Sometimes this independence reaches the point of absurdity, and ladies lose the last crumbs of femininity, and then they themselves regret it. At the same time, many foreign gentlemen with great gratitude accept the lady’s permission to court her.

For feminists, which are 90% of European and American women, an attempt to help is tantamount to recognizing a woman as flawed, incapable of independent action. Russian women understand the desire of men to be strong - support and protection - and give them many reasons for this.

Family values

For a Russian woman, family is the main value. There is nothing higher. No matter how successful a lady is in business or in some other areas, the most important achievement for her is always a full-fledged family with children. In Europe and many other parts of the world, the traditional family has long been experiencing a deep crisis, which has a bad effect on people’s psychological health.

The family provides a person with real support, and its absence often becomes the cause of deep depression. No matter how successful a lady is in her career, the absence of a loved one and the unfulfilled maternal instinct always have a bad effect on her mental state. It’s not for nothing that psychologists are so popular in civilized countries. They give people the emotions and attention that a Russian woman usually receives from family and friends.

beauty

Female beauty is not only a set of genetically determined data, but also the ability to present oneself in the most advantageous light. It’s not for nothing that Russian women are considered beauties. Not only are they naturally good, but they also constantly emphasize their strengths.

In Russia, ladies dress very femininely, which cannot be said about foreign women who have long chosen convenience, often at the expense of external attractiveness. A Russian lady does not consider it out of the ordinary to come to the office every day in stiletto heels, with a perfectly styled hairstyle and in a carefully pressed suit that emphasizes her thin waist, slender legs and other advantages.

Foreign women consider all this to be completely unnecessary frills and usually dress very simply. This not only makes their life easier, but also greatly reduces their attractiveness. Russian ladies always remember that they are, first of all, women, and then businesswomen and production leaders.

Hello, site readers!

There was such an example with my friend. She is a Russian Palestinian, but more Russian. She married a Palestinian, quite wealthy, educated, with a musical education, she herself has a higher education in music, and she sings. She got married, says she is happy, I readily believe.

But her husband immediately told her: come on, I will pay you a salary, you will sit at home, take care of yourself; she says - no, he then says: let me open a store for you, hire a worker, you will be at home - again no...

Then she tells him: you know, dear, I will combine, and I will also cook food for you, I will pamper you with our cuisine... He was apparently wildly dumbfounded and looked at her like, excuse me, at an idiot... Then he began to encourage her to write music ...

And in the end, she sings, writes music, sits in the store and cooks. Once I went to her, and he was there, it seemed to me that he did not like such a wife at all. I just heard him talking to her. It seems that he is not satisfied with this “incomprehensible” mentality of Russian women, slave labor at any cost, and cooking at the same time. Apparently, even with all the advantages, it still gives him a shock...

I hinted to her: if you continue like this, he might leave. Excuse me, did you come to live or build a career? Usually it just ends, of course, it’s different for everyone.

This is what I mean: no matter how much you change our women, they cannot be changed. Even under good conditions, they will “kill themselves to death”, because not working in Russia is a shame for a woman...

August 10, 2012

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31 comments to “ The mentality of Russian women. Happiness in slave labor?”

1. Nati:

   In general, in Europe “not working” is a shame for women

2. Maria:

   Because they don’t know how to fully and competently rest. There is nothing to fill their free time with. That's why they rush to work.

3. Yuri:

   Actually there is something in this.
   I was told another similar story - one of our girls married an Italian, gradually she began to immerse herself more and more in work, and her husband began to walk and play roulette - in general, behave the same way as “our men” in such families. The family was on the verge of collapse. Then her older friend, already her grandmother, told her that in order to save the family and return her husband’s sense of responsibility, she should live like other women in that country live - Italian women don’t work and you shouldn’t work. I don’t know how it all ended in the end, but for the time being the problem was resolved.
   Apparently, people are neurotic, with a constant feeling of anxiety in their souls, they go to work, worrying too much about the future, they cannot relax and just live enjoying themselves, I don’t know whether this is due to our harsher climate, or the legacy of totalitarianism. But neither men nor women are to blame for this.

4. Margarita:

   If a woman can sit at home and not turn into a plant, that's wonderful. (Spending free time in hairdressing salons, salons and resorts is also degradation). You can give all of yourself to your family, but when your children grow up, you realize that they don’t need you and in the end you are left with nothing, no matter how much mental strength you put into them. Your husband is not interested in you, because there is nothing to talk about with you, unless about the series you watched or about the napkins that you knitted while watching these series. Work is not a way to assert oneself, but a path to self-development.

5. iren:

   Hi all!

   work is work, but it should be a joy, people have lived like this for centuries: a woman is the keeper of the hearth, and only then a worker, and not vice versa! A man is a breadwinner, the head of a family, no one stops a woman from being a neck-breaker, “twisting wherever she wants,” just not a man in a skirt, as NATI said, “In general, it’s a shame for women not to work in Europe.” So what does Europe have to do with it, if anything? firstly, we live in Russia, where, in addition to large cities, life is even more or less traditional, and secondly, the article describes the life of a woman in the Middle East, and not in Europe!

   I understand when women in the early 18th century fought in America for the right to vote in elections, as the first American woman said. who fought for women's rights: “I will not listen to the state. in which I do not have the right to vote “. The right to vote, choice, women’s rights of concession can be understood, but forgive me when a woman is no longer a woman at all, impudent. unbridled, drinks like a “shoemaker”, “works hard” like “Papo Carlo”, “lights up” in clubs on the weekend, “laughs” like a man in a garage, goes on business trips with his boss, having a family and a husband, well, equal rights, a woman - comrade, and any such other information carries a more rigid imprint... namely. a woman gradually turns into a feminist with masculine inclinations, each one decides for herself whether this is good or bad..

6. iren:

   There is a fundamental difference - to have women's rights (which is commendable!!) and to go too far and be already a manized woman (which has an extremely negative impact on the same women and men combined)..

   On women, no matter what you say, it’s hard for her to blame everything on herself, but it’s convenient and also hard for a man, you don’t have to look after him for a long time, but why, she’ll do everything herself, and she’ll also earn money, serve herself, give birth to a child for herself, and also for him It will help to earn money, a man no longer needs to “strain”, so normal men “wither away” thanks to “feminized men”.

   work should be a woman’s choice, and not out of necessity, everything comes from here, first of all, she is a woman, a mother, a sister. And not 4 in 1, as our women are now trying to become, and they themselves suffer,

   If people lived like this for centuries (what prevented their women from revolting earlier if they were so poorly supported? And then it was possible, they just didn’t want to) then they lived correctly and there was a point, but now even though a woman works, “works hard”, but so much There is more loneliness and suicide among women, maybe after all the fair sex cannot withstand such a load... Maybe we should still give men their status quo? Feminism is always convenient for men, and Russian “muscular” feminism is even more so... where a woman, despite all her women’s rights, still “bends under”

7. iren:

   And as for spending time at resorts and hair salons, who’s stopping you from spending time reading books, historical books, who’s stopping you from going to premieres, musicals, the theater, ballet, opera? This is knowledge!! and not reading cheap novels that most working women read on the way to work, because there is no time for anything. Isn’t it a fact that we now rely on ancient knowledge, most scientists invented, discovered, were in a state of creative search, did not work as hard as they do now, they had time to think and reflect. Working non-stop, a person degrades, gets tired, does not develop creatively, he earns money, time flies, but there is no quality of life, because it flies by.

8. Olyonka:

   Why are we talking about slave labor? She's busy there at work. whether? Well done for not being in a hurry to become a lap dog. You just need to dose the work wisely so that you have enough strength to do everything and there is joy in it. Smart women also work for rich husbands to be interesting and different.

9. Hannah:

   Good day!

   So it goes that my friend is afraid of losing her independence according to the old Soviet habit, not seeing that her husband is already boiling over her independence.. Girls, please don’t confuse the West and the East, there is a difference after all, I know their local traditions very well and her husband, that’s why I asked her and advised her not to be so zealous, he’s already on the edge... Do you think she works because she likes it?! Not at all.. It’s just a Soviet-Russian habit, she has no need, it’s just that in Russia it was hammered into her head that it’s a shame not to work.. And she developed a fear that if she doesn’t work, she thinks that he will leave her. I tried to explain to her what’s going on here. This won’t work for him, it’s better to make concessions. If you carefully read the article, the husband offered to not only support her, but also engage in creative work for her, and the idea of ​​throwing everything at once, as is customary in Rush, shocks him to the point of goosebumps, recently with her I was talking again, he told her, I’m able to hire a cook. No one forbade her to work, she just came to start a family, that’s what she always told me. She seems to want to free herself from something, and is afraid

10. Natalia:

    What does it have to do with shame, there are people who cannot sit at home, sitting at home is a gradual degradation of the individual, and I don’t understand men who are trying to make a plant out of their wife...

11. carry:

    I wonder which wife makes a plant?! And this is in the East, where wives sit at home, and the husband not only did everything to make her happy, but also allowed her to engage in creative work and pay her salary. Will you find this in Russia? You just need to have a head on your shoulders, and if you are bored with a man despite everything that is in this world, and you have nothing but work, this is the first sign of degradation! A developed woman always has something to do, and Maria correctly said, “Because they don’t know how to properly and fully rest,” - there is nothing to fill their free time with,” right to the point.. If a person lives only by work, he does not develop, but degrades.. Always sleep-deprived and always in a hurry. , you need to know when to stop. If you have a desire to work, then creativity should show through, and not slavery, work at any cost, which is probably why some people don’t understand that there is another life besides work.

12. Nati:

    everyone chooses their own happiness. For me, just sitting at home “keeping the hearth” is quite boring
    That’s why I choose Europe, where the husband cannot “force” his wife to sit at home and cook cabbage soup. I am for the self-realization of a woman as an individual!

13. Pontt:

    I read the article and reviews.
    I don't agree with iren. My friend married an Italian. And everything seems fine, but he doesn’t give her money and there’s no question about work. In any case, she will work, because as an adult full-fledged woman, she should be able to buy jeans without asking her husband.
    I work, one might say, “like a horse,” because in Russia our prices are high and the salary is not very good.
    And regarding feminism, men, at least in Rush, have an interesting tendency to become rude and cruel if they bring in the paycheck. A working woman tries to avoid dependence and, as a consequence, slavery from her husband. We all know many examples. That's what feminism is all about.

14. carry:

    Nati, for God's sake, no one here says that a woman needs to be locked up, it is said that under all conditions the girl still does not trust her husband, this is obvious..

    For example, it’s unpleasant for me in Europe when a woman tells a man what to do, and he acts like a “wordless chick,” or even worse, a child is born, he cries and changes diapers, and the European woman has zero emotions. She decides everything herself, without asking her husband, herself Europeans complain that women treat them without respect, they can make scandals in public, as if they are taking revenge for the past, by the way, that’s why most are looking for a Russian wife or from the former USSR, since apparently their local feminism is fed up, you like it when a man cries and changes diapers, and you earned money, your right!

    Let's just say, if this Europe was 20-30 years ago where feminism (idiocy) was not so developed, then I would probably have lived there too, but now under no circumstances! There are very few men there in the classical sense. But I will stop respecting living with a woman, for example, I have European friends, but from the old school of Europe, this will not work there, in these families a man is a man, not a girl in a skirt who cries at the sight of a baby.

15. Sofia:

    By the way, not working with a decently earning spouse does not at all mean sitting as a mukla in the house.
    There will be house helpers, they will need to be given tasks.
    There will be children, they will need to be occupied and developed.
    There will be a garden - start designing it. There will be a ladies' club - at least some kind - also an activity.
    If your husband is busy with something interesting - not stupid trading, but something more profound - then study his business, take an interest in him.

    And taking care of yourself is not such a bad thing. Money and free time allow a woman to remain beautiful longer (if she is not completely stupid).

    I had exactly this problem many years ago - I was ready to grab onto everything and do everything myself. So my mother-in-law literally cut the wings of my urges, explaining that it was impossible to pamper “them” - men.

    That planting a palm tree is the most stupid thing if you have a gardener. But to show where you want to plant it, plan plantings, paths - this is just your business. And so on.

    It was very difficult for me to restrain myself, but I learned.

16. iren:

    Dear Pont!

    The fact that men in Russia become rude, in my opinion, they are rude on their own, and not because a woman suddenly does not work, the fact that you, as you say, work like a horse, is 1. the result of the attitude of a Russian man to a Russian woman , for a minute, look at the Soviet past when the Bolsheviks drove women into production, 2. FEMINISM all over the world, the result of large-scale policies, every little European banker has a European wife who at most does charity work, but will tell everyone that she works, for herself, for show off

    Regarding your friend and her Italian husband, who doesn’t give money, I don’t argue that it’s dishonest, a lot could depend on your friend, who, as (sorry, no offense) was used to “plowing” in Russia and carefully demonstrated her independence to her husband, and a man is a man, no matter how European or Eastern he is, he always sees a woman first as a woman, then as a worker, and they obviously marry our girls not to give them gold, the whole world knows that women from the former USSR are used to working as slaves on galleys , these are not Europeans who know their worth and are paid for overwork, for all the beauty of the Slavs, the mentality is clearly non-European, something between the West and the East..

    And one last thing. your money is of course correct, no one forcibly locks you up at home, but if you get married you need to look at who you are marrying, trust the man, but one gets the impression that if only our girl would marry the bald devil, you are with this man to live later, how can you live with misery?! A normal man will do everything himself and give much more. If you value him and not not educate him in the spirit of “I-myself”,

    And it happens very often that our women, due to the situation in Russia, keep their husband on a cold chain all his life from the wedding day, proving his independence, so then what do you want from him, you yourself have taught. He points out your independence, go earn it yourself.

17. Pontt:

    Thank you Iren. I won’t judge my friend and her Italian. They have their own history. This whole topic is very interesting to me, since I am planning to move to Europe for permanent residence. The issue of having my own money and a certain freedom is acute for me. I'm used to being independent. And I understand that in the first couple of years I will not have any income and I will have to depend entirely on my husband, or even my fiancé. It scares me.

    I decided to find a husband from another country not because of a good life. At a certain point, I realized that I could not put up with the Russian male mentality and I had very little chance of starting a family here. But, as they say, “when you get burned with milk, you blow water.” I'm afraid my wonderful new husband won't be able to resist the temptation to take advantage of the situation. Even though they are Europeans, they are still people.

    I would gladly not work and I will not play hide and seek with anyone: marry a banker and do charity work, learn languages, travel and regularly visit a sports club and a beauty salon - this, of course, is my dream, but who cares? will it give? As far as I remember, Europeans are good at counting money. But there are not very many bankers; there are not enough for everyone.
    So I’m worried about how and where I will work.

    In Russia, gender discrimination manifests itself strongly and ugly. The feminist movement does not involve women carrying sleepers, but quite the opposite. In Russia, if a man is wearing trousers, that’s good. Wash them and you can make your friend the boss, the husband of the family, etc. And the woman must, must, must, and it is her own fault. As far as I understand, the point of feminism is not to take something away from a man, or to humiliate him and show how incompetent he is. And the fact is that the concept of “man” includes much more than just having a penis. So a woman could remain a woman, and not compare her wits with men, in order to somehow prove her right to life and her own opinion. The meaning of feminism is equality: smart - well done, stupid - it's your own fault. But here we have it: the woman is stupid, the man is great, and it doesn’t matter who is smart and who is not.

18. Pontt:

    Sofia, how lucky you are with your mother-in-law)))

19. Tosya:

    I don't understand how you can sit at home and turn into a plant. So much time for improvement. If you live abroad and sometimes fly there via Moscow, go to the Moscow bookstore and pick up books on your interests, if you have any interests, of course. Pick up tutorials in the desired language, improve yourself. It’s so interesting to feel the fruits of your labor. You will better understand your husband and those around you. This will speed up “your integration in your country of residence.” Take books on psychology, where the presentation is in a popular form. This will definitely be beneficial in strengthening your family. Apply the knowledge you have received in your family life. Get smarter. Analyze what you read. If you find it interesting with yourself, not boring. Then your husband won’t be bored with you. Massage tutorials will also be helpful. Your husband will only be happy if you give him a wellness massage after work. Read books by Russian classics and classics of the country in which you live. You will express your thoughts correctly. Be interested in cooking, there are many recipes on the Internet, sometimes cook something new for your husband, maybe it will become one of your favorite dishes. Many computers now have the game “Chess”. You can learn to play with the computer. There are different “steps” there. If your husband plays chess, knowing how to play chess will definitely not harm your family, especially if you start winning. After all, your husband is at work and has no time to train, but you have time. Communicate more with your children. Expand your horizons, remember that you are wiser because you have lived more, share your thoughts, the children will be interested in you. Your husband and children will have something to talk about with you. There is internet. Find out the news, share your opinion. Are you afraid of being stuck without working? Believe me, you will remain near him when you retire. The money will be spent, no one will return the time taken from your husband and children, the beauty, health and nerves given to work, that is, to other people, too.

20. Lyudmila:

    Girls, it’s strange to read many of the comments written here! One feels that many women have simply never really experienced immigration, but are copying home economics magazines from the late 80s. Work is, first of all, a woman’s communication and proof that she already knows the language, is accepted in society and has been socialized. You, of course, can read books, learn different languages ​​(why? After all, if you don’t speak them, they are forgotten)
    Tosya, you write everything well, but why all this is unclear if a woman still doesn’t go out into society.
    About work! It is not necessary to work 12 hours a day, there is a half-day job, there is 3 times a week, there is a freelancer and many other options. And I believe that a woman must realize herself in order to feel happy. In the 21st century, domestic slave labor is no longer a popular occupation; there are dishwashers, washing machines and other appliances.
    And European men actually help women - this is how their European mothers raised them. And now European women are raising good husbands and fathers! (Unlike many compassionate Russian mothers, if you don’t agree, remember your mother-in-law!)
    And feminism is not about a woman laying sleepers, it’s about a woman’s right to be a person in society. Be a doctor, engineer, director, politician. After all, feminism was not born yesterday. And I’ll tell you that finding a decent job, being a respected person, earning money on your own and feeling like an individual is also happiness.

    • TatyanaP:

      “(why? After all, if you don’t speak them, they are forgotten)” to read books in the original language 😎

21. Simona:

    Being a respected person is one thing, but feminism in the 21st century, unfortunately, has radical forms, when a woman takes everything upon herself, a man, as they say, has no imagination left for interpretation, and in the 21st century his “hunt” was taken away - “work”, he was no longer needed, and there are a lot of gigolos in Europe and simply feminized men, by the way, this is a direct result of perverted feminism.

    I repeat once again, “perverted”, since the normal one was last seen in the 18th century, where the first American women really fought for their rights to vote, work, respect, and the end of the 1960s and not for God knows what now,

    even American psychologists have already proven, this is in gender psychology, that a man cannot reinvent himself in a feminine manner, for example, cleaning, helping around the house, since his level of the anti-stress hormone testosterone drops sharply, and a woman who has become masculine and works mainly in a world where testosterone rules, she daily loses her anti-stress hormone oxytocin, which brings her happiness and relaxation, working in a male rhythm she becomes masculine, earlier in the time of our grandmothers and mothers, women were much happier since the roles were distributed, both the man and a woman had a full supply of this hormone, now they are trying to make a man out of a woman, supposedly for the benefit of society, and accordingly, since there is practically no work left for a man, he becomes fiminized, becomes effeminate, unable to take full care of the family. Hence, less responsibility for the family itself, and like in “developed” Europe there are only boyfriends and girlfriends for a while, there are practically no families left in the classics, it’s not profitable, in America there’s even a law that if a couple lives unattached, they pay less taxes.. As they say , the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It is clear who needs this, people from above, and has nothing to do with the development of women, but with the greed of some nouveau riche politicians, yes, who want to make slaves out of people, where there are no borders and no traditions, if a person loses his roots and traditions, he is easy to control People who think or know have long understood everything.

22. Lyudmila:

    Simona, I respect your comment very much, and I probably even agree with you in many respects, but..... Sorry, I don’t care about all the emancipated, feminized and other couples. I know that my husband will always help me vacuum, load the dishwasher, and the washing machine too :) It’s just that he hasn’t lived with his parents since his student days and until the age of 37 he independently ran a household, although not a large one. He is not a pedant, but he is clean, loves order and cooks well. And my friend’s husband lived alone until he was 53 years old and managed both home and work very well. Living abroad, I know many women who study, learn the language and dream of finding a decent job. And they find it! In the office, at the computer, in social services, they feel needed! And not only Russians! How do you know how happy our grandmothers were? From books, from Turgenev’s novels? Women have always worked! And they did hard physical labor! And they carried water, and chopped wood, and plowed and sowed! Women used to work more, the work was just of a different nature! And no one makes anyone out of anyone! Well, you don't want to work! So stay home! Take care of yourself, paint your nails and be happy! After all, if you yourself are not studying, then you are probably working or will work. So why all this philosophical reasoning?

23. Simona:

    Lyudmila, thank you for your respect, I respect you too, but I have a different opinion, because

    Lyudmila writes:

    In the office, at the computer, in social services, they feel needed! And not only Russians! How do you know how happy our grandmothers were? From books, from Turgenev’s novels? Women have always worked! And they did hard physical labor! And they carried water, and chopped wood, and plowed and sowed! Women used to work more, the work was just of a different nature!

    Firstly, I said this because I’m already quite tired of the topic that homework is not work at all, that now all this is not valued, and everyone only dreams of working in offices and coming home with their tongue on their shoulders, I apologize. By the way, you yourself probably understand that women have always been doing something, call it work at least, you just like that the woman apparently plowed and plows, I won’t say anything .. Well, plowing likes plowing, you plow, okay, to each their own , but when you say that women feel needed even in the office, even in the social service, it says exactly the opposite, that apparently at home or anywhere in general they are so unneeded that they feel needed at least somewhere, well, I don’t believe it that a Russian woman likes to run every day, I hang my tongue over my shoulder, home-work, children, classes, husband, cat doesn’t help for the most part, not for everyone, you, thank God, are an exception, it’s just that you’ve driven yourself so hard , and men were raised this way, mostly by busy women,

    yes, about how the grandmothers lived, I probably grew up with them, of course I can’t answer for all grandmothers, but we definitely didn’t see a lack of oxytocin, we talked and asked for support, and with other women, this is support and now they need it like water, only even more than before, only modern ladies have so forgotten how to ask for help, which they need by nature, that hence her desire to make a man at least at home 2 a woman, who is also not naturally inclined to do all this, his testosterone level from - for this it decreases, this is not good for a woman, first of all, well, a man cannot be a woman like modern women want, they do everything, but they are restless in the shower, they are going against themselves,
    and everyone, going about their responsibilities, was proud and satisfied, knew what they were responsible for, not that now everything has turned upside down, that wow, women want to see at home not a man, but an understanding woman, only if a man becomes very feminized, then they themselves shout that he doesn’t already respected for some reason. By the way, I didn’t come up with this, but experts carried out experiments, due to what is happening in our country now,

    I agree, if they are working together financially, then everything should be exactly equal, well, where did you see this here, I personally see our exhausted women who are dying from combining everything, and she goes, not from a good life, apparently with bags, but the man is waiting for her at home, and will not cook, will not meet her, where is the equality, there is some kind of injustice, although in the majority she herself believes that she will do everything herself, the question arises for her husband, why would she even get married if she does everything herself.

    It’s different with European women, there’s more equality, with Arab women, the husband either hires an employee and definitely carries the bags 😀

24. Lyudmila:

    Yes, I agree with you Simona. A woman in Russia is, indeed, a hard worker. But tell me, please, if a man is a lawyer and a woman is a lawyer, what kind of profession is it male or female, and financial director, for example? If everything in life is more or less arranged and life is smooth and two people work for the good of the family, then, you see, everything works out without masculinization or effeminacy. In Russia, everything falls on a woman with a label - you must, otherwise you are “A bad housewife, mother, wife - and your husband will not live with you.” And he, of course, is happy. Why should he help a woman when someone else will do everything? This is simply the psychology of Russian relations between men and women. I agree with you that the question arises, why get married? Have a baby and get a divorce! Also, so that people around don’t say, oh, she’s already over 30, and she’s still alone, poor. Therefore, even if he’s a drunk, even if he doesn’t make money, even if he’s a quitter, but he’s a HUSBAND. But in Europe, women are raised differently. And they raise children and work without having to work hard, and earn a pension so that in old age they can travel and enjoy themselves.

25. Simona:

    So I would like to ask, since you understand why you would marry such a person? so that the neighbors don’t say something, come on... do you think beautiful Russian women don’t respect themselves so much that they’re ready for such trash. which doesn’t put any pressure on you to please or what? stop it, there are a lot of decent people, the light doesn’t fall like a wedge on Russian men, sorry
    Lyudmila writes:
    , but tell me, please, if a man is a lawyer and a woman is a lawyer, what kind of profession is it male or female, and financial director, for example? if everything in life is more or less arranged and life is smooth and two people work for the good of the family, then, you see, everything works out without masculinization or effeminacy. in Russia, everything falls on the woman with a label - you must, otherwise you are “a bad housewife, mother, wife - and your husband will not live with you” and he, of course, is happy.
    who cares what your neighbor thinks about you, don’t sneeze at her, these are her problems, not yours,
    By the way, I say hello to one neighbor, but not to one, because she is a gossip and no one likes her, avoid such people, think about yourself, about your family, even if you don’t have one now
    The profession can be anything, there are women’s and men’s, you just need to respect yourself, value yourself, and not please the Russian peasant just because “that’s the way it’s done here.” Who started it? you can find out, I’m thinking more and more about Russian ladies, because pregnancy for them is a way to take a break from work, and not raising a child, then, excuse me, she’s tearing her claws up and running to work, forgetting about why she gave birth to a child, everything is laid down before 3 years, just to go out, run out at any cost, the work will be lost, and the fact that the child is on his own somehow doesn’t work out,
    my opinion, a woman, if she’s bored, let her work, but part-time, by the way, at one time, the Czech Republic practiced this, and women were happy.
    So, please think about why everything in Russia is so unsettled, there are a lot of complaints, maybe it’s the working women themselves, that they don’t consider themselves worthless, maybe it’s time to think about the future, why is this happening? Maybe the women themselves raise Russian men in such a way that they do not bear any responsibility for the family in the future?
    after all, my brother’s wife is Russian, and she stays at home with the child, he earns money, everything is traditional, she was never particularly eager to work! She is a teacher, a candidate of historical sciences, she will work quietly, there is also stress, students, commissions, and all why? because the girl was raised in traditions, she doesn’t run headlong to work for money, but is raising a little pretty girl,

    Well, that's right, Sultan! But I know that in the Caucasus it also happens differently, I know that there too many men do not support their wives and the women here all work in Moscow, when you ask why, they say that the husband does not have enough money, then it is unclear why you would marry such a man. I don’t know, it’s just that for me a man is immediately visible, if he doesn’t want anything, he sits at home, waiting for his wife to bring everything, this is a “burp” of Soviet relations, fuck him and that’s it! It’s better to be hungry than to eat anything (Omar Khayyam) Even if, for example, my husband had changed to such an extent, I would have kicked him out just like that, less parasites, more respect for a woman!

    Why did men start thinking this way? Even some eastern ones with Russian women began to adopt Russian traditions, because a woman allows herself to be disrespected! He doesn’t understand basic psychology, if you help him do his male function (earn money), it only benefits him, it makes life easier, his hands are untied, and the woman is all on herself, I don’t want to talk about it, we’ve already talked about this topic 200 times same! Russian women raise weak men, and they still cry after that, this has always “killed” me, she carries everything on herself, still smears herself like a monkey, and laments, oh, why doesn’t a man marry me?

    Why would he marry a masculine woman? A person does one thing well, I don’t understand how you can carry everything on yourself and still consider yourself a woman, this is real horror! I'm tired of this mentality, honestly.

    • Alina:

      I completely agree with you! As a woman allows a man to treat her, so he will. When I flew through Dubai, I stopped there for several days. But, realizing that this is a Muslim country, I was still on the plane, before leaving, I completely covered my head (no hair is visible at all, only my face) and put on loose clothes that completely covered my body (ankles and wrists included). In my case it was wide trousers and a tunic. So: I was simply delighted with how EVERYONE treated me. Both men and women. I lived there alone. Wherever I turned, EVERYONE was ready to help, tell me, do something for me. I have not received so much care and respect for the fact that I am a WOMAN anywhere else. I am even thinking now about marrying an Arab. And I don’t see a problem that it’s not customary for them to walk half naked through the streets and fuck with anyone, losing their last brains, like in Russia.

26. Lyudmila:

    The mentality of Russian women is determined by Russian reality. Feminine - not feminine - stupid question. In the East, it has historically happened that women work at home, but in the West there is a different way of life. For example, I’d rather do office work with a good salary than have my husband be listed as a housekeeper. Our families live mostly in apartments of no more than 100 square meters, so why should we sit around forever? It’s simply ideal if a family’s life is planned together for work, rest, children and self-realization. And it is very important if a woman decides for herself what she likes and gets the opportunity to do it.

27. Ira:

    Excuse me, but what does the mentality have to do with it and why did women displease you?? Palestine is a patriarchal country where it is customary for a woman to be an ornament and not a person! Is this what you call “live”?
    What a Russian fool - they brought her to “paradise” and she still works!
    Listen, a woman is first and foremost a HUMAN, with her own needs for self-expression. At least a thousand times her husband will want to “put her on feather pillows and force her to eat baklava” under lock and key and pay her for it - he has no right to this! It doesn’t matter whether he’s Palestinian or American, it doesn’t matter!
    And the Author is truly a brainwashed slave whose fear of losing her husband and family is equal to death! And also with a mercantile hint and open ENVY for a woman who does not behave the way you would behave.

In Girls in Europe and Russia. Direct comparison.

I’m about to say something that will break several patterns with a bang. I like European girls much more than Russian ones. And after the recent events in my life, I want to avoid Russian girls, smiling sweetly and not turning my back on them. But let's take things in order.

Small firstdisclaimer (disclaimer, Haftungsausschluss, 放棄). I describe what I saw myself in the vast majority of cases. I understand perfectly well how the 95% rule works, so I am absolutely sure that this is not all about you personally, that everything is completely different for you, if I knew you personally, I would not have written this, and in general. If you suddenly notice something about yourself, then this is an unfortunate misunderstanding and a stupid accident. Also below you can find quite a lot of exaggerated things. They are here not out of harm (although that is also why), but for a more intelligible illustration.

Firstly, I have always been interested in the position of Russian girls in relation to their imaginary beauty. This is probably not even a position, but a kind of religion, a belief in chosenness and inviolability. This is an impenetrable argument and the reason for the existence of many people. A sacred cow and a grail inaccessible to other nations. But I don’t find Russian girls particularly beautiful. In my opinion, there's simply too much time spent preening that could be spent doing something else. Thus, appearance becomes the main goal and the main meaning, and the lack of manicure and plaster is assessed as ugliness. The Queen does not understand that in order to run around the city in the morning or go to the store, makeup is not needed at all and looks ridiculous at best. Hence the prejudices that European women don’t take care of themselves and are all terrible. But in my plebeian opinion, the beauty/crocodile ratio is the same everywhere.

It’s very easy to pick out Russian women in a crowd in your Europe or America. If someone in heels and an evening dress buys breakfast rolls, it's not an open house at the madhouse, it's a Russian Woman™. Optional - a commanding voice and a contemptuous look thrown at normal, unsuspecting people. A Russian girl cannot sit quietly in a cafe; she will definitely look around at her European neighbors, say her “wow”, and only then, when there is no one else to hiss at, will she drink her coffee.

Secondly, the European female mentality gives a wild head start to the Russian female mentality. The current generation was raised by women who were raised by women. Therefore, the idea that a man is a special walking stand for women’s legs is firmly rooted and does not want to go anywhere. A man must support and at the same time smile stupidly. What is typical is that the role of a man in a relationship should be Domostroevskaya, but the corresponding role of a woman somehow does not suit her. A woman wants to be completely contained, but does not want to be completely owned. There is a contradiction in my brain, I will be glad if someone explains it to me. And I perceive the phrase “a woman should only be happy” as a refusal of responsibility on my part, because I also owe something to my life, and throwing it under someone’s slender legs... Well, that’s not my thing. I give exactly as much as I receive in return. If you want me to be masculine, be feminine. So easy to understand, so difficult to do. Although for me femininity is defined by tenderness and care, while for many it is defined by demands and hysterics. Hence, probably, the discrepancy in views.

At the same time, European women are not looking for a sugar daddy or a walking nightstand with money, but for a partner. Yes, they need to be convinced to let them pay for themselves in a restaurant, but this is not always a minus. In a relationship, rights and responsibilities are equally divided. Both moral and material. How savage, isn't it? Maybe, but you know that you are with an adult. When I was with a very beautiful Russian girl, I sometimes had the feeling that I was fucking my daughter, and I am not a fan of incest.

I think someone needs to dissuade girls of beauty by default. Then, probably, there will be good sex, delicious borscht, and an interesting person nearby.

P.S. If anyone is interested in my subjective opinion, the most beautiful girls are obtained if you cross a European and a black man, or a European and an Asian.