There are many reasons to start a family. But basically, family life is built on love and the desire to be together. Long years life together, everyday life, quarrels can lead to a loss of interest in your partner. What to do if you're tired of your wife? Is this a reason for divorce or can we try to “reanimate” feelings?
Why is my wife annoying?
In this situation, the woman is looking for the culprits. It is important to understand the essence of a man. He gets tired of monotony. By nature, men are polygamous. Therefore, if the partners do not try to refresh the relationship in any way, the man, in search of variety, goes deeper into work or looks for new emotions “on the side.”
Very often, after living for many years in marriage with one woman, men begin to “look to the left”
The main reasons why a husband is tired of his wife:
- The wife “drank.” Men do not like to be constantly reproached or taught about life. You want to run away from such a woman without looking back. Moreover, a woman in such a situation may think that the truth is on her side, and the reproaches are justified. But it’s worth thinking about whether the husband has really done something wrong that he needs to be nagged. So close to divorce. After all, every patience comes to an end sooner or later. Even strong love can be destroyed by constantly repeated reproaches.
- A woman’s perception of a man as a “wallet of money.” A man has always been perceived as a breadwinner, and a woman is a housewife, a mother, responsible for the comfort in the house. But if a woman asks her provider for money too often, he may get tired of it. The way out of this situation is to send her to work.
- Misunderstanding of the wife. Lack of understanding between partners destroys relationships and marriages. You can discuss the accumulated problems over a calm dialogue, for example, during dinner with a glass of wine.
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These are the most common reasons why a man states that he is tired of living with his wife.
He doesn't pay attention to me!
Women like it male attention when their problems are listened to and help is offered. But what to do if you come home from work tired, hoping to relax, and your beloved reproaches you for inattention? A man by nature does not focus on details.
He is attracted to more global affairs. He may not notice the changed shade of his favorite hair or a new blouse. This happens not because he doesn’t love her, but because he is tired, carried away by other thoughts, or perceives his woman as a whole, and not in terms of little things.
A lot of men admit that they are tired of their wife for the simple reason that she constantly nags them.
The nature of the female gender is different. The girl tries to look good for her man, but he did not appreciate her impulse. Selfish nature demands everything more attention, your thoughts should be occupied with her. But due to work and fatigue, you may simply not have time for this. Resentments arise, reproaches appear. And sooner or later the husband comes to the conclusion that his wife is tired of her grievances. The man feels trapped. He perceives love from the side of the result, not the process.
And a woman needs to constantly feel loved, to see that she is being paid attention to. The result is that the wife is tired of her grievances. It's better to show her that she is dear to you. Give her small gifts throughout the year, not just on special occasions.
My wife is fed up: what should I do?
Some simple tips will help you improve your relationship:
- Accept her weirdness. Try to understand her real motives. For what reasons does she do this - selfish or for the good of the family? Women always try to push a man to activity. See the situation as an impulse for the benefit of your future.
- Speak with a future perspective. To reassure your wife, it is enough to convince her that new opportunities are opening up for you, and you will definitely take advantage of them. Such an optimistic forecast will reassure the wife. She will become kinder and more affectionate.
- Keep her busy. When a person has nothing to do, he looks for something to cling to. Try to keep your other half busy. Send them to work or ask them to pay more attention to their children and home. Just be sure to praise her. This way she will understand that you appreciate her work.
Read also:
Basic pickup techniques for a real man
To save your marriage, if you are tired of your wife's nagging, try talking to her about it. Try to describe the situation from your side, explain your feelings. Wise woman will hear you and try to change the situation to save the family. Perhaps she also has accumulated reproaches towards you. Through a constructive conversation, you can come to the right decision.
Perhaps the most main reason why a man says that he is tired of his wife, it is because the wife ceases to understand her husband
If a wife is tired of her husband, not everyone knows what to do in this situation. If you want to save your family, you can try to understand what each of you needs.
If the feelings are still there, you can add brightness to them and change something in your life:
- Communicate more with each other. You can solve any problem if you discuss it together. Be open about what irritates or worries you. In a conversation you can find the reason for the loss of mutual understanding. Think together about what you can change.
- Reminisce about the good times you had together. If you are tired of your wife and children, you can remember the happy moments together, when there were no everyday issues. By remembering a happy past, you can understand whether you want to be together further and improve your relationship.
- Free yourself from routine. Daily household issues and stress, monotony can kill even the most strong feelings. Try to surprise your soul mate, change your image, arrange romantic date, spend the weekend together away from home. To get rid of routine, you need to constantly surprise each other.
- Add some adrenaline to your relationship. Extreme dating make the couple more united. Ride horses together, try skydiving, ride a roller coaster.
- Engage your husband in something. You can give him a subscription to Gym or swimming pool. Any activity will allow him to escape from the routine and relieve stress, get rid of the idea that he is tired of his wife.
There are different ways to renew feelings in a relationship. The main thing is to find the optimal solution for your family. Try to give your man more happiness, positive emotions, love and care. And then he will not want to lose such a woman.
Tired of sex with my wife
Often the reason for a breakup is a cooling of passion for a partner. Many women make the mistake of thinking that if a man is next to them, he will not go anywhere. Therefore, they begin to wear dressing gowns and stop taking care of themselves. But a man is by nature a conqueror and hunter. And if there is no one to conquer, and the woman has ceased to surprise her man, to attract sexually, the husband begins to think about “conquests” on the side.
To prevent this from happening, it is enough to change your approach to relationships:
- Change your image. You need to be beautiful not only when going out. After all, your man also deserves to see a well-groomed woman.
- Buy a new set of lingerie and be the first to take the initiative in sex. Try to change positions and, in general, your approach to sex. More imagination and spontaneity. You can change the situation by renting a hotel room.
- Visit a sex shop with your partner. You can buy some kind of toy. The main thing is the selection process. You will be able to better understand your partner's preferences, or spontaneous ideas will arise that you will implement in bed.
Your partner will definitely appreciate your initiative and imagination.
Intimacy is an important component family relations. It brings you closer physically and emotionally, helps you remain faithful to each other and gives pleasure. But not everything is always smooth, and even in this area difficulties can arise. What to do if your wife does not give for seemingly incomprehensible reasons?
My wife won’t let me: what should I do?
First of all, don’t rush to conclusions. Some men don’t really understand what’s going on: if the wife doesn’t give it to her husband, then there’s immediate divorce. Others begin to suspect betrayal, become jealous and angry.
Another important question: Is this really a trend? If this situation happens occasionally, then you probably shouldn't pay too much attention to it. In the end, on some day the spouse may really have a headache or simply be out of mood - which is also important.
Sex for a woman is not just carnal pleasure, but also an activity that requires certain emotions, without which intimacy does not bring her pleasure.
But what if this is happening more and more often and is already becoming a trend? Also, don’t rush into quarrels. Most problems can and should be resolved - this will only strengthen the relationship. But first you need to understand possible reasons such behavior of a life partner.
Most common reasons
To begin with, it is worth mentioning that a woman’s cooling of her ardor, as a rule, has nothing to do with new crushes. This usually indicates that she is dissatisfied with some areas family life.
The most popular include several possible reasons:
Stress. Many women divide themselves into family, home and work. At the same time, responsibility is required of them everywhere. Such a life has little to do with intimacy. What caresses can there be - the child needs help with homework, cooking soup, otherwise there will be nothing to eat, and also reporting on work or just the boss being nagging. When there are only demands all around and you need to get everything done, it’s difficult to think about tenderness.
Household workload. Some might think that this is the same as the first point, but it is not. Sometimes a woman does not work, but remains completely absorbed in household chores. The husband and children do not consider it necessary to take on some of the responsibilities - after all, the mother does not work or study, that’s why she is a housewife. And such a housewife ceases to feel like a woman. All her thoughts are about fatigue, about the fact that the stain on her son’s pants hasn’t come off and that no one will buy her anything. beautiful lingerie- what for?
Grievances. It has already been mentioned that love pleasures For ladies, this is a phenomenon that requires certain emotions. And misunderstandings that have not been discussed and resolved greatly alienate the spouses from each other. Some people think that sex is good decision conflicts, but this is not so. Sometimes the grievances remain, plus the woman gets the feeling that her life partner does not care about her emotional state, but his physiological needs are important.
Phobia after pregnancy. While carrying a child, some couples completely refuse intimacy for fear of harming the baby. Then the child is born, but the fears remain. And she completely devotes herself to the baby, forgetting that she is not only a mother, but also a wife.
Spouse's appearance. One of the reasons why a wife does not give it to her husband and at the same time does not really want to explain something is some shortcomings in his appearance. A man considers himself handsome, but has already grown a beer belly, is unshaven, and has bad smell from mouth. Of course, his beloved should love him in any way, but it is worth remembering that basic unkemptness does not excite. And she may be embarrassed to talk about this - she doesn’t want to offend.
Diseases. Not all representatives of the stronger sex like to hear about diseases. And in most cases it is not easy to understand what is happening to his other half. Moreover, we are not always talking about physical illnesses. There are emotional problems, in which the girl even experiences physical pain from intimacy. The love of her life partner will manifest itself in a desire to help, understand and encourage her to see a doctor.
What to do
Of course, all girls are unique and every relationship has its own “tricks”. But there are things you should definitely do if your wifey doesn't want to share a bed:
Quality sex is the icing on a cake that was baked in advance. This means you need to make an effort before inviting your wife into bed.
The most important thing is communication. Conversation over a cup of coffee in the morning, calls and SMS with a cute text. This sincere interest and affection bring closer.
There is no need to be lazy and give up on the situation. If you let a relationship take its course, it can completely deteriorate.
When a husband fights for his beloved, it is rewarded. Relationships become stronger, conflicts are resolved easier and faster. This way, all areas of family life, including intimate ones, will delight both spouses.
Olga, Novorossiysk
Question: I have been married for 1 year and two months now. During the entire time we lived, we often fought. The reason was that she was constantly deceiving me, three weeks after the nickname, I caught her with the fact that she was talking on the phone with some guy for two weeks and did not say that she was married, and he did not know. The most surprising thing to me is that she did not admit that she actually communicated with him and did not even apologize to me. I counted it moral treason. The next day I cooled down and decided to close my eyes to it. A couple of weeks later we found out that she was pregnant. Then a terrible thing happened: I found out that she, while pregnant, smoked a lot, deceived me that she did not do this and ignored my swearing about smoking, continuing to smoke.
We had Nikah in November 2017. She worked until maternity leave for about 7 months, I worked every other day, returned late the next day after work, and then worked completely every other day. At that time, we lived with our parents, half a year after the nicknames, she began to go to her parents after our quarrel for two or three days, she began to set conditions for me, saying that she didn’t want to live with my parents, she, you see, was uncomfortable living with them . My parents didn’t do anything bad to her, they treated her with respect.
In general, we lived with my parents for 9 months, a child was born, after 40 days our parents finally decided to separate us. We lived separately and sometimes not happily, her relatives often came to our house, sometimes her mother, sometimes her sister. Her father, her mother and sister often interfered in our relationship, she also continued to smoke after giving birth, continued to deceive, did not listen, refused to go to my parents at all, and saw hers almost every day, did not look after me, did not really clean the house . In general, we lived together for a year. After the last quarrel, she called her mother, and she packed her things and took her home. He didn’t kick her out of the house; she left on her own initiative. I went to see her three or four times, trying to save the family. She didn’t want to listen to me and didn’t want to go back. She turned her parents against me, talked and made up nasty things about me. What should I do?
Answer from a psychological point of view:
Praise be to Allah, the Merciful and the All-Merciful! May Allah bless and greet the Prophet Muhammad, his family, his family, his companions and his followers. Amen.
Unfortunately, good changes in marital relationships are impossible until both want to change something and meet each other halfway. Marriage is a partnership where everyone takes on their half of the responsibilities and duties.
It seems that your wife was not ready for real family life. From wedding celebration to everyday life, and even in parental home, where she had to take into account other people's opinions and other people's habits. Perhaps she was not in the mood for this. Hence her attempts to get positive emotions through virtual communication“on the side,” when she corresponded with someone else’s guy on the Internet, and active smoking, which relieved stress and distracted her from sad thoughts. Then your wife began to disappear at work. This may also be due to her desire to be distracted and get away from problems. And when nothing helped, and her strength was running out, she simply upped and left you for her parents. The time that you lived in rented apartment, could somehow have a positive impact on your relationship, but this did not happen. I'm considering two probable reasons: active intervention of the wife’s parents in your relationship, which may indicate the wife’s excessive dependence on her relatives and her infantility (emotional immaturity), and the fact that you, as a husband and close person, could not find an approach to my wife, somehow get closer and solve the problem together. I don’t know your relationship, so I can’t advise you on what exactly and how you should have behaved with your wife during the period when you lived in a rented apartment. But the fact is that she did not see support in you and went where she found mutual understanding.
Your spouse's behavior is not what you expected from her. And here you agree with her: she is disappointed in you, and you are disappointed in her. Your expectations from family life did not match. But in order to change the behavior of your marriage partner, you had to not limit yourself to dry remarks addressed to her, but try to get closer to her. Constant complaints against her only worsened the situation. She didn’t see in you someone she could lean on, learn from, and with whom she could change for the better. Of course, the intervention of her family also took place, but, in particular, as an alternative to the lack of support and mutual understanding that she could receive from you.
Even the very style of writing the letter is indicative and critical in relation to your wife. Has she really done nothing good for you? Have you tried to understand her? I don't mean that you should have indulged her bad habits, turn a blind eye to the sins she commits against you. From a logical point of view, you did everything right, but to the detriment of relationships and at the cost of splitting the family. I urge you to educate your wife, and not oppress her with comments and put her in a state where she is forced to run away from you with a small child to her parents.
You have probably noticed yourself that your woman’s psychology is still childish, her expectations from marriage (like yours) have not been met, and her behavior in family life is far from what can be called consistent with her acquired status as a wife. But every married woman goes through it: for some it is easier, for others it is more difficult, for some it is faster, and for others it is slower. It is impossible to become a full-fledged wife and housewife on the second day after the wedding, just as it is impossible to be an ideal mother on the second day after giving birth. A woman needs to learn everything. And this requires time, diligence and a loved one who would support her good endeavors, accept and love her with all her weaknesses and shortcomings and believe that she can become even better, help take steps towards good changes in her. If a weak student throughout educational process repeat that he is “incompetent” and point out only his mistakes, then he will soon run away from such a teacher to someone who loves him and sees the good in him. This is a normal desire healthy person. Therefore, think about whether you were too tough, categorical, offensive, annoying, etc. in your family life. I don’t know how it really was.
I suggest you look at the solution to the problem with your heart loving person, and not just the mind, which knows how it should be. After all, the process of education is very complex. And your woman deserves you to find her individual approach. This situation is also a test for you to become better. It is possible that your heart will soften and you will begin to think with your heart and not just with your head.
Remember how often you communicated with your spouse, took an interest in her needs, joked and played with her? Do you know her moral condition? It is important not just to live with a person, but to be close to him, body and soul. Think about the emotional component of your nikah. If you began to change your spouse from afar, using the method I described above, then you yourself would begin to change within yourself. Because it is impossible to change your situation without changing yourself.
Try to return your wife to an apartment where you would live separately from your parents. Make time for your spouse. IN free time indulge in the halal activities she loves. Be interested in her needs emotional state, spiritual growth. Encourage her to do good. Praise her for the slightest changes for the better. Accept her for who she is. Don’t demand the impossible from your wife, but what she can change, help her good word, kind gesture and loving face. Don't rush her. Don't forget that women are completely different than men. It is not enough for a woman to understand how to do something. She must be tuned into the task that needs to be taught to her. Do not prevent your spouse from communicating with her family, but limit her contacts with them. They must understand that for the wife, now, you are the trustee and owner of her home. To make this less painful for the wife and her relatives, it is necessary to devote more time to the wife, and to express kindness towards her relatives, give them gifts, etc. If you manage to establish an emotional connection with your woman, then it will be easier for you to guide her actions, and accordingly, educate her in line with your expectations (that does not contradict Sharia). inshaAllah.
I hope I didn't hurt your feelings and was helpful in some way. May Allah make it easy for you!
And praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds! Amen.
Elvira Sadrutdinova
Male, slightly over 40.
The situation he had was beyond envy. Married, three small children and his wife left for someone else.
Their marriage was already quite many years old, but for the first 10 years they did not have children. They experienced a lot together, supported each other and hoped that happiness would smile on them and their lives would finally be filled with children's laughter.
And everything worked out, three babies appeared with an interval of 2-3 years. It seems that you just want to be happy, and then this...
The husband asked what to do with his wife, should she let her go? But the children love her, and he is not ready to part with them either. Do not let go? Will you hold on if love is gone?
He was in complete despair.
And although we discussed a lot, the decision remained with him, and he could not decide on anything. Apparently it took time. At the end of the consultation, I made, as usual, a forecast for the year.
Among the expected events were the following: a pet could die. My client did not react to this, and I thought that perhaps there were no animals in the house. And among other things, there was an indication of an unwanted pregnancy.
At these words, the client jumped up: “What a pregnancy! What are you talking about, we haven’t slept together for six months!”
I was already sufficiently taught by experience that there is no need to adjust forecasts to the existing situation. You need to say what you see, without ignoring anything. I answered: “I’m just warning you, I just see that you have no time for adding to your family right now, I’m just warning you.”
We broke up. Exactly a year passed and he called.
I thought it was necessary to make a forecast for next year. By the way, he asked for this. And when I came for a consultation, I put my head in my hands and asked: “What should I do with my wife?” At this point I was surprised: “What, you haven’t done anything? What about her?”
And then he said: “It’s not enough that the dog died. And then there’s this unexpected pregnancy...”
I didn't know how to react. He continued: “The wife is back. But pregnant. It is clear that it is not from me. What should I do with her now? When there were no children, I remember sitting with the men at work in the smoking room and envying them when they talked about their children. They supported as best they could, and sometimes they egged me on: if anything happens, call us, we’ll help. It was funny. But I never imagined that they would help in this way...”
Discussion: 4 comments
“Life is a chain, and the little things in it are links, you can’t help but attach significance to a link!” The man brushed aside the details as unimportant, based on the logic of the development of the situation at that moment, but... man proposes, but God disposes! Conclusion - you need to be very attentive to any information, without dismissing anything in advance, otherwise this will happen, they will “help” in such a way that it will take you a long time to come to your senses!!
Answer
Hello! If we consider the situation “what should a man do,” then everything is banal and, unfortunately, mental anguish cannot be avoided. There are two ways out based on practical experience. The first is to understand and forgive, this requires enormous willpower, common sense, And true love(love is the sacrifice of oneself, both physical and spiritual, for the sake of another). Secondly, they separated like ships at sea, which requires no less willpower. Everything else is half-measure with a lot of wasted nerves and emotions.
Regarding the forecast there is Golden Rule all types of predictions and practical actions. When working with a client, you should never get close to him, especially emotionally. As soon as you develop sympathy, hatred, etc. for him. there is a bias in the situation with all the ensuing consequences (lack of objectivity in considering possible options developments of events). You will have to involve one of your colleagues in the workshop for objective analysis. If you look at the situation from the outside, the first thing that comes to mind is that the wife was tired of routine and raising children and decided to take a break. Having received all the necessary unloading, and being burdened by many years family connections I came back, but pregnancy is not a tricky thing.
Answer
In my opinion, nothing will help here. There are too many insults and understatements. They will never be able to forgive each other. They will never become the family they dream of in their hearts. I would advise them to separate instead of trying to glue them together. broken cup! It will still flow...
Answer
The couple's main question was about children, but it didn't work out. but what now - well, one more child in the family)))) where there are three, there will be a fourth))), What is the question???? in the emotions and ego of a man. Conclusion - leave and thank your wife for returning to her children and with an increase))))
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